girl – Back and Forth

Here she was. She’d come after almost a month.

Dressed in blue jeans and a white t- shirt, she looked as pretty as ever, but she didn’t look the same somehow. Something was amiss. As she dragged her feet across the parking lot, I noticed smile missing from her rosy lips. I missed seeing her toothy smile, which would make her glisten in the morning sunlight. Her face seemed ashen compared to the glow she had a mere month ago.

She waved to Ashi, and was standing 4 inches in front of me now. She tried to smile, the pain clearly visible in her eyes. I couldn’t bear to look into her eyes. I could sense disappointment and anger… towards me? her friends? or the entire world? I couldn’t tell. I looked away and tried to join the discussion going on, but to no avail cuz as soon as I had turned, I saw Mr Nanda walking towards us.

I announced his arrival and people rushed to the classroom in our two storied, excuse for a building tution center.

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As we walked out of the class discussing our lesson, I saw her almost trying to run out of there. But, thankfully, Ashi pulled her towards our usual adda just outside the door , exactly where we were standing in the morning.

We were all curious as to where she’d been for a month. I’d heard Ashi telling Saru that her parents had told her she was unwell. She repeated the exact same story, and everyone accepted without any questions.. but I couldn’t. There was something wrong.. worse than any illness..

She seemed in a hurry and started walking towards the car her father had sent, leaving me restless till the next time I’d see her.

P.S. If this was interesting, do tell me so that I keep working on it.. otherwise I think I’ll desert this story..

Let me see, I wrote the last post about my life in July. Not much has been going on though, as nothing much happens in this dreaded town. Nevertheless, I would like to update you guys on what’s been going on with me a little…

Firstly, let me apologize, for I realized that ever since I have come here, surprisingly, I have been talking too much about girls and relationships. In fact I’d go as far as saying that I had become obsessed with these topics. But, as for my love of theories, I have come up with a theory for this too. You see, firstly, I just turned 16 and a fresh pang of hormones hit my body, and more importantly my environment changed. Of all the guys I know in Kota, 80% of them are in relationships(of course with girls). 10% don’t want to be in one, 5% are desperate to be in one but are afraid to do something and 5% want it but deny it, saying that their studies will be affected. The thing with humans is that we follow what the majority is doing. In fact some researchers have proved that of majority of people say that 2+2 is not equal to 4, most people would be ready to change their answer. The same applies here. When most guys I know, are in relationships, and happy being in them, my brain thinks that it is something to be pursued and will help me be happy, and it must be good for me because most of them are doing it. I don’t know whether it’s good for me or not, but I certainly think about girls more, and girls make constant appearances in my dreams(pleanty to catch up with there). Anyway, the point was that apologize to you guys and myself too, for having done that.

Well, moving on, after July came August. The test of August 3 went bad, and besides celebrating the independence day doing nothing, I also went home for 4 days in the middle of August. Catching up with not so old friends and having fun after quite a long time. Despite my sister’s big ego issues that I wasn’t giving that much attention to her, I managed to be happy for those days. But, no one was satified. Parents said we spent too much time with friends, friends said we spent too little time with them, we felt we didn’t get much time at home after so many months. All in all a fruitful trip :P. Oh, and Vipul(my ex-room partner) showed me the pictures of her “dearly beloved”. Have to say, not at all what I imagined. We also celebrated his birthday on the 25th, and I gifted him a frame for the photo of his “db”. See, how thoughtful of me? (Yes, I’m insecure).

Anyway, I also happened to check out that latest delighting news about the IITs that how the OBCs will now only need 50% of the marks gotten by last candidate of the general category who got in. Obviously, generals still have the same number of seats, but the thing is that the institute is being diluted, its credibilty will be lost by the time I pass out, I guess. I don’t understand why we still play the old dirty game of “divide and rule”? I guess Bhagat Singh was right in a way when he said that independence through congress would just replace the whites with the browns, poor will still suffer and they still do. We have 1/3rd of the poorest people of the world living in India. The day I read it, I made up half my mind to leave for home the very same day. But, then I thought that maybe I could get into a foreign institute, as they say that if you have prepared for IIT, you have prepared for all of ’em. Cuz seriously, I am done with Indians. More on that later I guess(Yes, I still have a lot left).

I’ve also joined a new private Maths tution here, because my luck so far with maths teachers at the institute has been bad. And the first day, I accidently attened a 12th class batch, but didn’t have the balls to say it after realizing that after the first ten minutes, so I sat there for an hour and a half drawing on my copy. I’ve been pretty sick the whole last week with cold and fever, and have been spending my days pretty much in bed, thus the inactivity in the blogosphere. That, and my lack of creativity for coming up with comments, but that’s not the point here. And as a result of spending most of my time in bed, I have been having more dreams, and pretty good ones, you know the ones which make you feel miserable when you wake up, because you realize that life in reality still sucks and nothing will change for the next two years. And the hangovers of these dreams have been even worse. Seriously, like the other day, I woke up from such a dream to read an sms from my friend as follows: