Beethoven’s 5th symphony

The various emotions that beethoven’s 5th symphony evokes. A mother wakes up, suddenly to the sound of the alarm, that is where the music begins with a swell. She’s gets busy immediately, cleaning, cooking breakfast for the children and the husband. She gets ready for office and the first respite in music comes when her husband and kids are eating breakfast. She breathes a sigh of relief and sips some tea in the kitchen.

She suddenly looks at the watch and realizes her kid is getting late for school. She again hurriedly steps out with him, looking for an auto. She hails a nearby auto and goes on her way to drop the kid to school. There is a moment of peace and calm, as she enjoys watching her child play with his doll. The camera focuses on the kid’s innocence and her mother’s face, her happiness and contentment…

The mood suddenly turns dark. The camera pans out to show a city in chaos. The soulful music underlines a city in ruins. A bus on fire, with broken windows. Some people continuing to throw stones on it, like throwing stones at a dead elephant. A necklace of fire, flows towards the unsuspecting mother as if a river of fire is about to engulf her little world.

Without any time to react, the mob flows over the entire street. A man grabs the mother and another one grabs the kid. The mother is holding her son’s hand with all her might, screaming and struggling. We feel her pain in her eyes as the music turns dark, and we sense her fear, her fear of loss, and the need to protect, like a glass, holding onto the stem, even after it has already broken……


  1. Vidhu Vinod Chopra makes films like fairy tales. The whole experience is basically based around a central idea. The characters are vehicles for the idea, or to show how the implementation of these ideas changes their lives. So it’s basically a saviour story. Instead of the hero’s journey, it’s a superhero, who brings a new idea into the lives of common characters, characters that normal people can relate to, and then the whole story is about how everyone comes to realize and recognize the strength of this central idea, and why that is something that’s wrong with the world and needs to be fixed. The hero is perfect, without flaws, or has overcome his flaws, and he helps the people around him make this change in their lives as well.
  2. I’ve finally analyzed my way out of the supposed “enlightenment”. It’s sensory overload, and neural activity that becomes too extreme and believable. That’s how I presume drugs affect the human mind. They cause a sensory overload which leads us to perceive them as new experiences. I’m assuming that’s the reason I got those feelings, because of heightened neural activity, and over production/replacement of pleasure hormones, which caused a sense of euphoria, and a sense of connection to the whole world. While on weed, I felt like my senses were competing for my attention. I could only focus on one sense at a time, which made me want to recoil and give up on all senses, close my eyes or lay down. And this made me realize that that entire experience of oneness and pleasure, might have been completely chemical, messing with the neurons of my body, and having seen this experience described as enlightenment, or a connection with a higher consciousness or religious, that’s what I labelled it as well. My experience was overshadowed by what I had read, the experience painted in the perceptions of others, in their own words, and their own biases of their times. Meditation or extreme focus might have similar effects on the brain as these drugs, and like any phenomenon not yet explained through the laws of the universe, we label it as religious, otherworldly and as an explanation for the meaning of life. A sense of connection to people highly contributes to this euphoria, and we label this experience as a universal one-ness, or God. And this elusive feeling may lead us to forgo any conscious analysis of this experience, and thereby “believe” without questioning in this feeling of oneness. It might have also contributed to how some religions formed, specially Buddhism and Sikhism. Religion at the end of the day relies entirely on belief. Even after having this supposed experience, we can never be sure whether this was a sensory overload of drugs, or maybe on some dimension or level, this connection and unimaginable experience might be real. There is no real answer. Maybe one could pursue this by studying the effects of such drugs on the human brain, but as we know so little about how the human mind works, I think we are quite some time away from these studies revealing any substantial answers about the world and its’ “realness”. So, I choose to believe the sensory world, the one I interact with, and focus on the experiences here. If I am just another virus born in a meaningless world through the chances of evolution, I’ll make the most of my time here.
  3. Only alcohol leads to the senses to be subdued, which causes a sense of euphoria, and enjoyment. Basically all enjoyment is sensory. Movies are a visual and audio stimulation of our senses, which lead to an emotional fulfillment as well, which comes through sharing stories and experiences. It’s a social experience which is important for us in an evolutionary sense, leads to a sense of belonging, connection and love for our fellow humans. That’s the reason we do anything, either evolution or sensory pleasures. That’s why sex is so fun, because it was so weird, that evolution upped the sensory factor to make it so lucrative that it’s the most sensual experience that you can have.
  4. On the question of how I spend my time here, I enjoy analysis and philosophy. The reason I enjoy software development is actually designing and building a business solutions that solves a problem. Problem solving is my forte, while technical excellence is something I need to pursue.


About that next step

I am starting this post, because I have decided to write. About anything and everything. One Essay per day. That’s the new quota. It’ll help me get a better GRE AWA score, and also prepare me for the novel that I’m one day never gonna write.

So, let’s get started.

Why is my next step GRE/MS/post grad.?

Education is important. I think(hope) we can all agree on that. Education opens up one’s mind to all the possible ways the world can be studied. It opens our eyes to the different ways of thinking about and dissecting the same scenarios and problems. Although it doesn’t itself lead to a higher intellect, it might lead a person on the path to discovery of a higher intellect.

Well, my pursuit of MS is no noble pursuit. I am not chasing higher intellect or another way to dissect my random musings and the meaning of my existence. The simple reason for my decision is that I want a degree from a good university. I want to experience what it’s like to study with some of the better minds of the world and share some mental space with them. And the single reason I want to do this is, that I don’t respect the people around me.

I like people who are around me, don’t get me wrong. The only problem is that I don’t think I have much to learn from them. As in the words of Benjamin Franklin, I want to surround myself with minds of higher thought process than myself. I see people around me stuck, in money mostly, or social life, or the corporate ladder. Or maybe I am ignorant and I don’t understand how they are also looking for a simple life, without much stress, and are in fact much ahead of me when it comes to the matters of the soul.

Either way, I want to grow. And I want the sweet sweet label.

My thirst for growth and learning could also be satiated if I was working in a company I deemed brilliant enough, but guess what? I’m not brilliant enough to work in any of them.

So, I have to study.

There’s also the fact that I want to experience the american life. I’ve been dreaming about it since I was a teenager, so I figure, might as well experience it in this life.

The biggest deterrent to my resolve is my intellect. I can’t justify or find much meaning behind these shallow reasons, which make me lay back in my bed, and not prepare for GRE at all. Well, maybe tomorrow 😛

Welcome to the concrete jungle

Welcome to the concrete jungle, surrounded by lush green flora, collections from the most exotic locale, much like its inhabitants. Why is the flora so green and fresh? Why the green outline to the black mirrored boundries? Government regulations? A sense of environmentalisim? Decoration? Who has the time to think.

Welcome to the concrete jungle. Surrounded by steel gates, but afraid of humanity leaking in. If you take a walk around, you’ll see the inhabitants walk about this jungle, careful to watch that they don’t step onto the green sea. Carefull enough not to malign it, not attentive to what they’re so carefull about. It’s beautiful in a way. So many different specimens beautiful in their own way, paid no attention by anyone except people who are paid for them not to die, much like the inhabitants themselves.

Welcome to the concrete jungle, surrounded by behometh gates, but for the fear of humanity leaking in. The culture here is sipping on jugs and sucking on tiny white tubes. Sucking in and sucking up, for the fear of the fear leaking in.

There, standing behind the beautiful red abomination of a thousand species of red flowers, are our protagnists. Say hi. They’re warm. They’ll wave and smile back, even if they don’t remember where they shook hands with you once, or shared an elevator, or stabbed you in the back. Go on.. say hi.

What is Hope

Happy Heart

Hope is an abstract thing that means expectation and belief in something over which one has little or no control at all. Hope is priceless to me. I find hope priceless because it leads to other feelings. If someone enters a contest, the hope of winning will turn into excitement. Competitiveness is another emotion brought by hope. If someone enters a race and hopes to win, they will feel competitiveness mixing with hope.

Hope can bring surprise, too. If someone is almost sure there is no way to succeed at something, and they manage to succeed, their hope will burst into surprise. Hope helps people live.

Hope is a lifeline to me. If I am in an inescapable hole, I hope for the best. This hope is like a light in my mind hiding the dark so I can look on better things. Then when I make it through, and…

View original post 107 more words


Kayi duniya ke maare mein

Kuch shayad kismet se bechaare hain

Sabko bhar bhar milta hai

Ismein koi jaat paat ka sawaal nahi

Kuch mann kho kar mol chukate hain

Kuch muft mein hi batorte jaate hain

Kuch khelon ki tadbeer sahi,

Kuch apni hi taqdeer sahi..

Tohfe mein sabko milte hain,

Duniya ki ikk reet sahi..

Kuch mantar phoonk chalate hain

Kuch zehr ka zor apnaate hain

Kuch doob jaate hain terne ki firaak mein

Kuch paniyo mein ghul jaate hain

Kuch ikk nayi si baat bhi bataate hain

Jaante hain k ise lauta nahi sakte kahin

Mita nahi sakte naa bhasm hote hain ye,

Haar gaye kayi gehraaiyaan dhoondte dhoondte,

jahan inhe abhi bhi poori tarah dabaa nahi sakte

Samet te hain pal.. bade shaunk se ye

Inn gehre kaale paniyo mein motiyo ki talaash karte hain..

Kuch hassne hasaane ki baat kiya karte hain shayad

Kehte hain, dukh apne liye rakh, Anand sabke liye

It’s a baby girl!

The Espresso Addict

She was 27, and at home.

She stood in front of the mirror, naked. She looked at her breasts. This was the biggest they had ever been. But she knew that they were going to get bigger. She stared at herself for a long while before she ran her right hand across the entire area of her belly, from just above her abdomen, all the way down to its lower end. It looked bloated and the bump had begun to show through her clothes now. She was five months pregnant, and had just received her scans from her gynecologist. She had dreaded this moment would come right from when she turned into a teenager. And 15 years later, she still wasn’t prepared for it.

“You are going to have a healthy and beautiful baby girl. You just have to keep eating healthy, and get good sleep and sufficient exercise, just like…

View original post 2,018 more words

10 Beautiful Words About Love That Don’t Exist in English



1. Mamihlapinatapei (Yagan, an indigenous language of Tierra del Fuego): The wordless yet meaningful look shared by two people who desire to initiate something, but are both reluctant to start.


2. Yuanfen (Chinese): A relationship by fate or destiny. This is a complex concept. It draws on principles of predetermination in Chinese culture, which dictate relationships, encounters and affinities, mostly among lovers and friends.


3. Cafuné (Brazilian Portuguese): The act of tenderly running your fingers through someone’s hair.


4. Retrouvailles (French):  The happiness of meeting again after a long time.


5. Ilunga (Bantu): A person who is willing to forgive abuse the first time; tolerate it the second time, but never a third time.

la douleur exquise

6. La Douleur Exquise (French): The heart-wrenching pain of wanting someone you can’t have.

koi no yokan

7. Koi No Yokan (Japanese): The sense upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall…

View original post 92 more words

#18 – The person that you wish you could be

Dear richest assholes of the world,

Stop trying to make more money!! Now give people like me some money or at least try to enjoy what you have. I say stop making new companies and start financing smaller companies with potential..Don’t be a capitalist pig! Spread your wealth around and as for yourself, be on holiday 24/7.

Now, how about that money you were gonna give me?

P.S. This is the part of a 30 day letter tag.. For more information, go here.

More than a year…

Oh my god man, can you believe it, its been more than a year since I started this blog… I was just reading some old posts and I can’t believe how much I have changed.. I am like a whole different person now..
Anyway, People celebrate birthdays even of their dead kids and this blog isn’t dead, just asleep. So I guess it deserves a wish..

Belated Happy Birthday “Back and Forth”!!

Oh my god.. I’m almost nostalgic.. so signing off!