Well, first let me explain what oneitis means. It means being hung up and obsessed of one girl, who you think you love and won’t be able to live if you don’t see them, but it’s actually a loser’s game. Yes, I admit it, I used to be a loser, and some of it is still with me.
So It all began when I was like 13 years old. Yeah, the good old days. So Disney Channel was new here in India, and I used to watch Lizzie Mcguire everyday. I think I started liking Lizzie’s character, but I was stupid, you know, so I thought I liked Hilary Duff. So, anyway, I started searching stuff about her on the internet and I was sure within a few days that I was in love with her(I hadn’t thought deeply about love then). When I found out that she was like 4 years elder to me, I was crushed, you know emotionally. But It took a back seat and I grew more and more obsessed about her. I even made a kundli match of us on a software. I also found about the word “crush” and knew that this was my first crush. Mind you, this was when no one in India had even noticed her, rather than now, when every other boy is crazy about her. So, anyway, I thought that it was a really big deal and thought that no one should know about it. The condition was this, that my 9th grade books were covered in different styled “HD” signs all over. I even developed a secret way to write english alphabets in a different way, so that I could write how I feel about her, and now my books were scribbled with “Hilary Duff” in those secret alphabets. I used to listen to songs for hours lying on the bed, and my eyes used to be wet often when I saw Lizzie Mcguire(Maybe it was because of constantly staring on the TV, maybe it was because of her). I downloaded lots of wallpapers of her and started daydreaming about how I’d meet her and all. I planned that I would start an animation company, HRK Walt, and one day, I would cast her as the actress. When I found out about Joel Madden(now her ex), I thought that I would even settle being in her good books, you know be one of her friends. I even once wore a pendant with her pic in there, and when my mother found it in my room, I said that the picture came with it, like in the frames.
But, as I grew up, I slowly found out that it wasn’t such a big deal, and I discussed about it with my best friend. He totally understood me. I also started getting to know more about sex, but I never really had any bad or vulgar thoughts about it, it was a pure crush I would never experience again. She was my dream girl. But, slowly I started controlling myself, decreasing my obsession, and becoming more normal. This action was also encouraged by a dream about her, which I would write about someday else. So, I started getting over her by the time I was in 10th grade(15 years old). But, if I get a chance I would even choose her if you would ask me to choose between her and the sexiest girl in the world and I still wanna be her friend if I ever become famous enough to know her. After that encounter, I was normal, it felt nice you know, watching other girls, spreading the net far and wide, and being a free butterfly. But, what did I know that the next blow was just around the corner……………………………….read the next post to find out.
Back and Forth 