Hello again!

Hey you guys! I hope you haven’t forgotten me. Let me introduce myself again. It’s Perx, with my wierd little alias. I know I don’t post regularly, but I’ll try to be from now on. Ok, so i’ve got two tags and some news about Kota.

Well, as everyone knows that the conditions in Rajasthan, especially near Kota, aren’t pleasant. Terrorism is on the rise. Although there hasn’t been much violence in the city, you might find a case or two. Infact a boy was killed, in our street with a knife, but it was a late night incident and only few people know, even I got to know from somewhere else, and am not sure even if it’s true. There is some panga about the Gurjars. And the thing is that these guys have broken the rail tracks. So no courier or passengers can come in or go out. My new Sony Ericsson K950i is waiting to be sent in my old city. The mobile that I previouly had, a chines one, has totally stopped working, and I use Nokia 1200 until my parents can come to Kota with my phone. I think that they should just cancel reservation for all, no partiality would happen that way. But that’s a whole another topic.

The big news is that I’ve shifted to a new PG. Vipul is still in the older room. The place was good, but the only thing was I didn’t like the landlord and vice versa. The place where I now live, belongs to a retired couple, whose kids have jobs abroad. Actually my mom met the lady on the train, when my parents were going back. The fountain that she is, my mom was crying, and this lady also started crying. I guess, that developed a strange kind of bond between them. Anyway, the room is nice, but I feel a little lonely here. I mean I was living for a month and a half, being constantly surrounded by people, and suddenly, I am alone. I guess it will take some time getting used to being alone AGAIN.

The Bansal review test went very bad. I am in R8 right now and obviously, wanna go up. In subjective, I thought I’d get 15/20 in Maths, 40/50 in Chem and 40/50 in Physics. But guess what, I just got 12.5/50 in Maths, 19/50 in Physics and 17/50 in Chem. I am like totally depressed. But, I am hoping for good marks in objective test, atleast 75/150. I wanna atleast stay in R and not go into S. So, I’ve decided to work hard from now. Just today, I was thinking that the last month was like a dream, you know, like while watching “FRIENDS”, you think that one day, you would like to live like this too. And now is when the real struggle begins. Let’s see how it goes.

UPDATE: As I was writing this, the results got announced. I got 78 in objective and got Q6 which is a much higher batch. Now I’m happy. And BTW Vipul got P5, he was in Q2 earlier.

8 Things Me

I got the first tag from Sneezy Melon of “The Goofy Express“. I have to tell 8 random facts about me. I think it could take me a day to think those…..

1) I am Sikh. Yes, if you didn’t know, I am a Sikh. As much as I don’t want hair as long as a girl has, the Indian society is narrow minded. My parents won’t say no, if I insisted on getting my hair cut, but as long as I am dependent on them, I don’t want them to face embarrassment, so I’ll do that when I get independent. See, I don’t think you need long hair to be a Sikh. Just by going to the Gurudwara, or wearing a turban, keeping a beard, putting money in the golak and bending in front of the Guru Granth Sahib, you can’t be a real Sikh. I have not been to a Gurudwara in 2 years, I believe God is everywhere. I don’t put money in the golak, because that does not go to poor, but to the pockets of managers. I’d rather feed the poor. I don’t read the jabji sahib, cuz I think that God doesn’t need a particular language to be prayed in. I think that the one who respects the Holy book and practices the deeds given is more of a sikh than the one doing all the other things I said above. Sorry, I guess this topic needs a post of its own. Moving on…….

2) I was the Head boy of my school, the worst there ever was. I didn’t even wanna be the head boy in the first place. I didn’t think I deserved it, I even told my class teacher to pass on the title to that boy, but she said that the decision had been made. There decision turned out to be wrong for them, according to me…….

3) I have a weird habit of connecting myself with every great personality. I try to find similarities between us and then think that maybe I’m their re-incarnation. So far, I have considered myself to be a re-incarnation of Bhagat Singh, Einstein, Shakespeare, Gandhi, Walt Disney, Mozart, and many more….

4) I don’t like dogs, cats, even pups, horses or any other kind of animal or insect. You don’t know what’s going on in their heads, and they might hurt you at any time. So I hate them and am afraid of them.

5) I don’t like to fight. I mean I have fought with my sister many times, but my views have changed now. I think fights and wars are a problem in themself and not a solution to any problem, so I believe in forgiving and forgetting. But, mind you I’m afraid of getting beaten either.

6) I hate myself. Yes, I hate the way I look, the way I think, the way I talk. I wish I could change everything like through a computer program or something, like photoshop, where they even got previews.

7) I daydream, and that’s all I do. I think and make plans about the future and forget to study in the procedure. Whenever, I see something, like on TV, about a family or something, I start thinking about what I would do differently if it were my decision……I think u get the point. BTW, my biggest dream is being immortal.

Tag No. 2 (As stolen from Ish)

i am: ugly.
i think: constantly, about too many things at a time.
i know: that I’ll succeed if I try hard.
i want: to talk to my crush once, to know what it was that attracted me to her.
i have: dual personalities.
i wish: I could be a movie director.
i hate: studying.
i miss: my friends from my city.
i fear: death and ghosts.
i feel: confused, about life.
i hear: numbness, the sound of loneliness.
i smell: some socks which are unwashed.
i crave: for love, real pure love.
i search: my soul, my heart, trying to unravel it’s secrets.
i wonder: if I’ll ever be at peace.
i regret: having opted for non medical.
i love: watching movies.
i ache: for all the people who are doing what they don’t want to do.
i care: for my family, friends and some other people.
i always: look for the deeper meaning.
i am not: religious at all. I believe in Guru Nanak, Krishna, and Hanuman equally.
i believe: that I’ll go crazy one day.
i dance: to the tunes of fate.
i sing: along with listening to songs. People tend to spread away, when I start listening to songs.

I tag anyone who would like to do these tags.

Inspiration………….

Yeah, I have been looking for an inspiration ever since I have come to Kota. I had decided upon IIT for one simple reason. I had decided that as IITians get the highest paid jobs, I’d work for like 5 years, and then go to LA to join a film institute to become a director, as I wanted to join Hollywood and get in touch with HD. But, as that one-itis was dropped, I wasn’t sure what to do, and decided to go for IIT only.

But, I have been suffering ever since I have come here. I don’t want to study hard, I want to enjoy life. And today IITians have to do MBA to get good jobs, and I think that the salary would have been good enough even if I did an MBA after doing CA or something. I don’t have anything that can keep me going, something that can inspire me to study, no real motive, nothing, cuz the standard of IIT has really dropped in my eyes after getting to know how stuff works there.

Also, I have been really disappointed with Bansal Classes. I thought that people came here to gain knowledge, not just learn the same old stuff, but boy, was I wrong. Their only aim is IIT, which might work for most people, but doesn’t for me. I have a thirst for knowledge, not for cramming. And even the IITs are only about the GPA.

So due to lack of inspiration, my mind has been looking around. Strangely, my oneitis have returned, yes both of them. I notice every girl walking past me, which I never did before. Maybe I’m spoiling myself, but I understand that my mind is looking for inspiration. I don’t know what to do. I think that if I don’t get a good batch after the first test, maybe I’ll go back. I mean what is the use of living without facilities, when you don’t even want to do what you have come to do.

I don’t know if it’s wrong or right, I’m totally confused, more than I ever was.

P.S. I forgot to tell you all, It was my 16th birthday on 18th April.

Why and How?

I apologize for the fact that I haven’t written a post in the last twenty days. I have been planning to write a day by day analysis of my life in Kota, for a week, and haven’t been able to do it, so I gave the plan up today, and I’ll just write it generally, but it’s gonna be a long post. BTW thanks to the people who inquired why I hadn’t posted including Ish and tigger.

My journey began on the night of 16th April. I had a lot of work to do that day and I was backing up my Desktop data till the moment my father was shouting for me to come down, as we had to leave for the railway station. I wasn’t very sad, but I knew I was gonna miss my friends a lot. So we reached the station, caught our train, and I embarked on a new journey, leaving behind a closed chapter of my book. But, was it really closed so soon? I would live in Jalandhar ever again like I used to…. but how could it end in just fifteen years…. so many plots of the chapter were still undeveloped, or not finished. But, I had to move on.

My parents were coming with me and Vipul(Binny) and his parents were there with us too. It was so exiting… starting something new… you know that rush of getting into a new life routine. But, I sure didn’t know then, that it would turn out to be so difficult. The next morning I spent talking to Vipul and getting to know him better…. we had not been very good friends in school, more like acquaintances or someone you hear about from your friends. Last evening, Sarvesh had called me to tell me that Vipul “ki setting ho gayi hai.” I asked him about it and surprisingly he told me all about it. I also spilled my beans about the oneitises. Well, they didn’t really matter to me much then.

When we reached in Kota, it was hell hot. My father’s friend’s brother, was there to receive us. My father wanted to book the rooms in advance, but the man was like, “It would be done, we would get you whatever hotel you would like” on the telephone. But I had some idea, that many people would be there, and we won’t get a place easily. We hotel hunted all afternoon and after many no availabilities, had to stay in a 3rd grade hotel. It wasn’t so bad, but bad according to our standards, or for that matter according to standard of many people. The rooms weren’t clean, were small, the walls were dirty, the bathroom wasn’t so clean, but we had to adjust.

After hotel hunting, came PG hunting. It was hard and frustrating, as there were many institutes in Kota, with no arrangement of Hostels by the institutes due to which the demand of good PGs was high. My mother threatened me that if we didn’t find a good enough PG, they would take me back with them. Vipul’s dad’s some relative showed us some rooms in Indravihar, but he also said that it was pretty late, most good rooms were already booked. Wherever we went, either the rooms were already booked, or only one was available or the rooms weren’t good, or they had common bathroom or the lavatory seat was Indian style. Me and Vipul don’t know how to operate that way…. call us spoilt, but we have never used or been taught to use Indian style lavatories. Anyway, so it was really difficult. At last we had to settle for a single room, with a double bed and two almirahs. The landlord’s were the relative’s brother, who they didn’t talk to anymore…. so we did the deal ourselves. We had dinner at the relative’s place. We also saw a tennis racket type thingy which has current in the net and is used to kill mosquitoes, for which Kota is pretty famous. We bought one for our room the next day. Anyway, the relatives were pretty nice people, and I mixed up with them quite easily… making jokes and all. They told us that students were easily beaten up here by local boys and police didn’t do anything. So Vipul was advised to keep his head down, as he was quite an influential dude, where he lived, you know what I mean. We returned to the hotel and that was the last time we saw them. By the way, maybe I shouldn’t say this, but Vipul’s dad is like the biggest Kiss-ass I’ve ever seen. He has a wierd style of saying, “Acha acha achachachach” really fast and is a big ass kisser, praising every word by saying, “Kya baat hai”, or “Maza aa gaya.”

Next day in the morning, was my introductory class. We were getting late, and we took breakfast(a bread pakora) sitting in the auto-rickshaw. There was a long lecture by Mr. V.K. Bansal, but it was good. I mean it gave you the feel for the first time that you are here, in Kota, to study in Bansal classes. But it was a 3 hour long class, and I hadn’t brought a water bottle with me. Whenever Bansal drank water, mann karta tha, chaper maar ke paani cheen lun. At the end of the class, they told us about our batches. Mine was R8. The batches are from P1 to S10. So, I was pretty far behind, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt. But, I drank the pain as a bottle of dew and went on the shopping spree waiting for us. It was pretty easy, but it was really very hot, which made it tiresome. We also purchased bicycles, as it is the mode of transportation used by most students here. It was a weird feeling to drive a bicycle after like 4 years, and I also remembered how I used to fall every time I took out my bicycle. While I was in the class, our mothers set up our room. But the room is very small, and one of my bags, containing my books, novels and dvds is still unpacked. Vipul’s class was in the evening and he got Q2. Saala, I am smarter than him….. but it doesn’t matter. The batches will be reshuffled after the first test on May 25th. So that night I washed my hair, so that the “juda” done by my mom would last another week. Truly, that was the only thing I was dependent on my mother for, anatomically, at this late age. That day, I also got to know that Vipul ate a lot. The man ate two bread pakodas at 9, then 2 samosas and sprite at 11:30 and 5 chapatis in lunch at 1:30. I mean, I juat eat two chapatis a meal and he looks thinner than me (although he’s not). The next day, early morning, our parents went back and we had two free days before classes began.

The next two days went by pretty quickly. We watched movies on the laptop (who’s volume capabilities sucks), talked to each other and got to know each other better. We are much closer friends now. We also got to know the dude living in the room right by our room, who’s from Ludhiana. He seems to have been pretty spoilt in Ludhiana (girls and fights wise). He is also in Bansal in S5 batch. But, he’s a good kid…. and is sometimes overconfident about his success which he veils as positive thinking. Also, he’s crazy about Amway, as his father does network marketing for Amway and he uses all the supplements and other products made by them. He is also sometimes a little irritating. We also met 3 other guys from Gwalior. One, who doesn’t talk much with us, but is supposed to be pretty intelligent. The other is a total Joker, I mean you just sit with him for a few minutes and you would be laughing your guts out. Their mothers still stay with them and would be leaving in May end. The last one is a IT dude, I mean he’s into computers so we have a good tuning. But, none of these guys watch much movies, and I am a movie buff, so I can’t talk much about movies around them. We now know much about them and we know much about them. Its surprising that we have become good friends in so few days. We also have gotten into the habit of mimicry of the landlord and his family. Me and Vipul also imitate our old teacher and the new science ones. Its really funny.

No one like the landlord our of all of us. He is a middle aged man who smokes a lot, and once when he was sitting in the Verandah, he told Vipul to pick up the stool like “Kamod chakk liya”. We now call him Kamod wale uncle. He is not a nice man btw, and got rude with me once for no apparent reason. I try to avoid him and his family as much as possible.

We eat food at a mess called Annapurna, and the food isn’t so bad, but it isn’t good either. I have decreased my food intake has decreased because I don’t like the food here. And my jeans are starting to become loose, which I consider good news. The most surprising part about the city is that, despite being a major industrial city, It doesn’t have any McDs, Pizza Hut, Dominoes or even a Cafe Coffee day. All the fast food you get commonly is samasos, kachoris and patties, which they fill up with sauces and namkeen like a gol gappa. There a couple of restaurants nearby which have ok-ok fast food. We just had some last night as the mess was closed.

We have been searching for a new PG for 2 or 3 days, which has 2 rooms available and all the facilities we need. We have searched all houses with a board of “room for students” on it, but didn’t find anything nice. We did find an apartment and and a hostel, but everyone has been suggesting against staying in a hostel, so I guess that’s out. But, everything was almost final about the apartment, infact we were gonna give the advance this evening, but Vipul feels like this place is better. And to tell you the truth, I think so too, as at the flat, we will have to take care of many things ourselves, and there will be just the two of us there. So we have decided to stay here only for now.

The classes are OK, but I kind of feel that I could have done studying like this at home also. The thing is that they haven’t put much pressure on us yet, as the second installment of the fees. But still, the 6 or even 3 of us, when study together, spend most of the time joking around. And I haven’t studied in two days. The thing is ki padhne ka mann hi nahi karta yaar……… and the room is a mess because of all the stuff accumulated, which is also a big turn off. We have our first test on 25th May, which is 6 hours long, and after that the batches will be re-shuffled. And I have totally decided that if I don’t get in the first few batches, I’m going back…. it seems like the sensible thing to do….cuz our senior(who is a genius btw) told us that good teachers are only alloted to the first few batches. So lets see where life takes me next.

The Race begins……………

Not exactly a race, but whatever is going on is pretty rushed. I’m moving to Kota soon, to study in Bansal Classes and the preparations have begun. What with buying new clothes, buying new lowers, new undergarments, new socks, shoes and much more stuff which can be read on my mother’s list. She wants to buy everything here, but I’m trying to convince her that most of the stuff can also be bought in Kota, so there’s no use of carrying extra burden. But she’s right too, my parents are just gonna be there for 1 and a half day and have to arrange everything including a PG, and make arrangements for my food too.

I’m not that scared or worried that I’m going into a new city. I am only a little sad because I have to leave all my friends behind. Only 1 guy from my previous class(Binny) is coming. I gave a little good bye party to my close friends today(when they should give me a farewell, aren’t they total asses!). We had planned to watch Krazzy 4, but it got pretty bad reviews, so we dropped the idea. We bowled, played pool, and had lots of pizza today, all on my expense btw. But, I’m gonna miss them, even if I wasn’t going, we had divided. Everyone was going to different schools for +1. I have really gotten into the song “Dil Chahta Hai” these days. I even watched the movie twice. Anyway, that’s why I’m taking a laptop with me, to access internet and stay connected. Another reason I wanna take a laptop with me is because I wanna remain sane. There’s gonna be no TV, no nothing and those “padhakoos” in kota are gonna bore me with their study talks. I don’t believe in studying too much and this laptop will me my TV, music system, theatre and a way to stay connected to the rest of the society. The problem starts here, cuz I’m very confused between Dell and HP. Everyone has advised me to buy HP, although Dell is better, because there is no service center in my city. I have decided to go with HP, but suggestions are welcomed. I’m also confused with wireless internet service, whether I should go with Tata Indicom or Reliance…suggestions are welcomed again on this topic.

So I am ready for a new experience as this chapter of my life closes as I turn 16. May God be with me……..

PS- Sorry, there was no Roadies post, cuz MTV is not there on my TV anymore, because of the cable provider.

PPS- Ish, aisi bhi kyaa naraazgi ho gayi, ki comment ka reply hi nahi kiya. Agar koi galti ho gayi to I’m SORRY.

10 shows which make TV still watchable………………I

Yeah, I know, I haven’t posted in 2 days, but I was studying……yes I do study occasionally, when I’m not watching movies that is. Anyway, so I had a post, but that’s taking a little longer to shape up, so here’s another one.

With all the crap being showed on TV including the ghisse pitte daily soaps and boringly repetitive reality shows, there is very less to watch except MTV or V. But, eventually some shows come along which you actually like. Here are 10 of the TV shows currently airing, which I like to watch and make TV watchable for me.

1. MTV Roadies – Everybody who has been reading this blog, must know that I absolutely love this show. I have been following it since the 4th season, when I first discovered it. I never let myself miss even 1 episode of this show and can watch it again and again. Of all the new reality shows, this one only seems to offer a piece of reality. Every Saturday at 7 pm on MTV. Here’s a link.4689

2. Drake and Josh – A show which, I think all would be able to enjoy, despite their age. But me and my friends absolutely love it. Its about two teenage step brothers Drake and Josh, and the problems faced by them. What’s particularly interesting is Drake and Josh’s different approaches to the same problem. Drake is the cool dude who gets out of every mistake without punishment and Josh is the geek who gets blamed for everything. Their encounters with their cold blooded sister Megan are also intriguing. I swear, if I had a sister like that, I would kill her. No matter how many times you watch an episode, you never get bored. Every day at 9:30 pm on Nickelodeon. Here’s a link.drake-y-josh

3. House M.D. – A modern day Sherlock Holmes, except that he doesn’t solve crimes but medical cases. You will see some of the most unusual medical cases being solved in 1 hour with various mistakes and realizations. The best thing about the show is Hugh Laurie who plays Dr. House. The character’s dry and inhumane style is, cool, if you will. The other characters are very finely developed and it’s the closest show to reality, I’ve ever seen. It’s based on one principle: Everybody lies. You can always relate to one or the other character. Every Tuesday 11 pm. Here’s a link.

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4. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. – An all time favourite. Actually this is the only show which is so popular, that I could find it’s season DVDs in my local store and didn’t have to got to Planet M. I know it doesn’t even remotely come close to the real lives of people in New York, but it’s a really fun show. The characters and situations are lovable and there isn’t a moment when you might get bored. It was kind of like my introduction to American TV shows and I love it and trust me, you will to. My favourite character is Chandler, cuz I’m kind of sarcastic like him.It airs weekdays, 7:00 pm on Star World. Here’s a link.

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5. My Wife and Kids – Evergreen, that’s what this show is. Filled with witty comments and funny characters, it is one of the best examples of American Comic Shows. There’s a guy called Michael, and this show is about his relationship with his wife and kids. It provides quite a number of laughs, and you learn a lesson or two about relationship or disciplining children with Michael’s Signature moments. It airs every weekday at 6:30 pm on Star World. Here’s a link.

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All the timings are IST. The next part has 5 more great shows……so stay tuned.

I hate shopping for clothes…….

Yes, I hate it, I simply hate it, for the basic fact that I’m fat, a condition which many people call “healthy” in India like my mother, my sister-in-law(i hope thats what we call bhabhi) and many others, even some of my friends. I remind them again and again that healthy is being fit, and the thing is called being fat or obese.

Anyway back to the point, I hate shopping for clothes, my parents have to drag me to the shop(not literally), and I shop just once at the start of every season. I hate it because I’m totally embarrassed. I know that I should accept it and I do, but it’s just embarrassing to ask for over sized clothe, which have to be altered in length for you, and even more embarrassing to stand there in the trial room, and pulling up a pair of jeans which just won’t go higher and then walking out with those overtight jeans and ur mother asks you, “Kamar se tight to nahi hai?”(“Is it tight at your waist?”) I mean you’re there like totally red trying to hold your breath to flatten your stomach a little bit, and this bomb drops on you in front of the salesman and you are thinking, “wtf, I can manage if it is tight or not, why’d u have to ask me?”. But you say that it’s tight and the salesman picks out a bigger waist jeans for you, which is OK at the waist, but longer than you need. And then you try out t-shirts, which are equally embarrassing if they don’t fit. Finally when you are sitting in the back of your car, your parents are like giving you advice when you don’t need it. I have plans, I’m just too lazy to get off my ass.

I have written this, because I had to go through all this today, again. But no matter, I have a new plan and I’m gonna work on it from tomorrow.

Addicted to Oneitis-II

So, here we are again…I was talking about my mental illness most commonly called “Oneitis”. So, I think it was after the second term of 10th class when I was hit by it again. I study Maths tutions since 9th class and go in the evening, but I had gone in the morning that day, and that’s when I saw her.

I arrived and sat at the seat in the back, as most seats were occupied. The front row had the tutor and some three more students sitting there, their face towards us. So I saw her sitting right next to Sir, and I thought she is pretty. Then I opened my books and started solving a sum, but my eyes went up again to catch a glimpse of her, I looked down, looked up. I just couldn’t concentrate on the sum, and my eyes would drift towards her. And she wasn’t that pretty, just a normal looking girl, but there was something about her which attracted my eyes towards hers like magnets. I just solved 2 sums that day in 2 hours, can you believe it? I couldn’t. And even when I came home, I couldn’t get her out of my mind. I just kept picturing her in my mind. I grew eager to see her again. I saw her again the next morning, following the same pattern of peeping tom. That night I couldn’t sleep, and I kept thinking that I gotta ask her something, just talk to her a little, and I spent the whole night coming up with ideas. But, I wasn’t courageous enough. From then on, I went to tutions every morning, and told my parents that I had to skip school because the syllabus was over, and we didn’t do much in school and I had to start preparing for Pre-Boards. Although the syllabus was finished, but I don’t think it was time to get holidays to study, because we would have 15 days during Christmas holidays, after we came back from our trip(more about it later). I became more regular at tutions than ever before. But, I couldn’t talk to her because she used to sit right next to Sir, and I had a good image, and you know how it is considered here in India about boys being friends with girls out of the school. Also I found out that she was in 11th class, and 1 year older to me. But, after the crush on HD, it hardly mattered to me. I also found out that she studies in MGN school. I also took her picture with my mobile(obviously without letting anyone know).

I started to find ways to gather confidence or gain her attention. I stumbled upon David Angelo’s dating books, which encouraged me, but I was still learning. I also found out about “The Game” by Neil Strauss and love the ideas and the book.I also made a new friend at the tution who was in my class in my school, but I hadn’t really talked much to him in class. He became my best friend and I discussed with him about my crush. We are still best friends, and I sometimes tell him that we should thank her, because if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have become so good friends with him. I also told him about a dream I had about her(more about that later).

After a week, I started going to school again(had to), and came to the tutions in the evening, but I had a hope in my heart that I might see her. But, I didn’t. She just came once on the eve of my trip. By then, all my friends knew about my crush and it was openly discussed on the trip. I met many guys on my trip who I hadn’t talked to in the school, guys from other sections, other classes(9th only). I was pretty confident of myself when I came back and decided that I would talk to her no matter what happens.

But, when I returned I found out that she had left the tutions and she only used to come to clarify her doubts and studied tution somewhere else. I found out her name through a clever conversation with Sir, and told my friend who studies in the MGN to find out a little about her, and I got to know that she was already committed. But, I had lost my seriousness about her by then, and it didn’t bother me much and the feeling has slowly died down. Slowly I have immersed more and more into “The Game”, the art practiced by pick up artists, and now I refer to these crushes as oneitis.

It is something that you have when you don’t have exposure to many girls and you cling on to one. It can only be overcome by indulging yourself with a lot of other girls. But, I just ask myself sometimes, that there must be something about those girls. I could have been attracted to anyone, more beautiful than them, but I was attracted to them. I was attracted to the one playing Lizzie and not the one playing Miranda or Kate; I was hung up on an average looking girl and not much more beautiful ones. Why? I have no answer.

Addicted to Oneitis-I

Well, first let me explain what oneitis means. It means being hung up and obsessed of one girl, who you think you love and won’t be able to live if you don’t see them, but it’s actually a loser’s game. Yes, I admit it, I used to be a loser, and some of it is still with me.

So It all began when I was like 13 years old. Yeah, the good old days. So Disney Channel was new here in India, and I used to watch Lizzie Mcguire everyday. I think I started liking Lizzie’s character, but I was stupid, you know, so I thought I liked Hilary Duff. So, anyway, I started searching stuff about her on the internet and I was sure within a few days that I was in love with her(I hadn’t thought deeply about love then). When I found out that she was like 4 years elder to me, I was crushed, you know emotionally. But It took a back seat and I grew more and more obsessed about her. I even made a kundli match of us on a software. I also found about the word “crush” and knew that this was my first crush. Mind you, this was when no one in India had even noticed her, rather than now, when every other boy is crazy about her. So, anyway, I thought that it was a really big deal and thought that no one should know about it. The condition was this, that my 9th grade books were covered in different styled “HD” signs all over. I even developed a secret way to write english alphabets in a different way, so that I could write how I feel about her, and now my books were scribbled with “Hilary Duff” in those secret alphabets. I used to listen to songs for hours lying on the bed, and my eyes used to be wet often when I saw Lizzie Mcguire(Maybe it was because of constantly staring on the TV, maybe it was because of her). I downloaded lots of wallpapers of her and started daydreaming about how I’d meet her and all. I planned that I would start an animation company, HRK Walt, and one day, I would cast her as the actress. When I found out about Joel Madden(now her ex), I thought that I would even settle being in her good books, you know be one of her friends. I even once wore a pendant with her pic in there, and when my mother found it in my room, I said that the picture came with it, like in the frames.hilary-duff.jpg

But, as I grew up, I slowly found out that it wasn’t such a big deal, and I discussed about it with my best friend. He totally understood me. I also started getting to know more about sex, but I never really had any bad or vulgar thoughts about it, it was a pure crush I would never experience again. She was my dream girl. But, slowly I started controlling myself, decreasing my obsession, and becoming more normal. This action was also encouraged by a dream about her, which I would write about someday else. So, I started getting over her by the time I was in 10th grade(15 years old). But, if I get a chance I would even choose her if you would ask me to choose between her and the sexiest girl in the world and I still wanna be her friend if I ever become famous enough to know her. After that encounter, I was normal, it felt nice you know, watching other girls, spreading the net far and wide, and being a free butterfly. But, what did I know that the next blow was just around the corner……………………………….read the next post to find out.

Eight Things…….

Well, I was reading a blog, and a post had been done by this person, about eight things he’s passionate about, and I thought that was really cool, so here goes my post:

Eight things I am passionate about

Okay let’s see;

1) Movies: Yes, Movies are my biggest passion. I like watching new movies everyday, but sadly my internet connection is slow and it takes me about 2 days to download one. I currently have a “to download” list of about 150 movies. I am so passionate about movies, that I wanna be a director.

2) Psychology: I like to understand how people’s minds work. I like to know why someone did something, and what inspired him to do so. I like to understand human nature, and keep reading my sister’s graduation course books of psychology. And I’m not blowing my trumpets, but I’m really good.

3) Science: I like Biology and Physics, because I like to know the mysterious ways in which nature works. I have always liked human biology, because I wanna know how my body works and reacts. It’s kind of related to my psychology passion. Physics, is total bliss. Einstein is my idol and I love studying quantum mechanics and the string theory.

4) Day Dreaming: I day dream a lot, and I mean a lot. I spend more time day dreaming than I spend studying. I dream about my future life, and ow I would like certain things in my life to be. I often react to things like…”I wouldn’t have done it like this, when I have kids, I’ll do it like that.”

5) Writing: Yes, I like writing, but not my homework, I despise that. But I squeeze out story ideas out of every situation or every tv show I watch, and I have a notepad file full of these ideas. I imagine real characters, so that I understand them. And until, I finish a novel, this blog is my let out.

6) Changing the world: Yes, I’ve always wanted to change the world. In fact, when I used to learn or hear about some important personality, I would immediately think, “When did he die? Maybe I’m his incarnation!”, And this has come with almost all personalities I’ve known about. I try to find similar traits between us and try to connect with him. But, even if I’m not an incarnation of a famous person, I’d like to make a difference in the human world and be famous now.

7) Money: I love money and the feeling that comes from having a lot of it. I want to be a multi billionaire, by hook or by crook. Hell, I’d even rob a bank, ok! I’m kidding, but I do want to be rich. I want me to be able to afford everything that I might want.

8 ) Life: Yes, I want to be immortal. I have always feared death and I never want to die. When I watched “The man from the earth” I thought maybe I’ll be like that, but I’ll only get to know when I’m thirty, but even if I’m not like that guy, I’d like to invent some medicine, which would change my DNA structure, so that I never die. I’ll never get tired of living.

Also, this isn’t my passion, but I’d like to remove the division of man into religious and skin color based groups. Every person is different and unique and his ideals and thoughts must not be trampled in the name of religion or that if they belong to the same color,” they must have a similar opinion” kind of thing, and also abolish reservation, cuz it just hurts unity.

Hey, tell me about your passions in the comments, if you’d like……