I’m confused… real confused

The only worthwhile thing I have been doing these days is watching movies….I saw 21 and loved it, and saw some more movies not worth mentioning. I also went to see Jaane Tu… Ya Jaane Na, alone when my friends said they wouldn’t, and I’m glad I did, cuz it’s a very good movie.

Anyway, on with the post, do you remember I told you about A? Yeah, thats the girl I became friends with through orkut. Well, as it turns out, I am a horrible person and a bad human being, cuz, to simply put it across, I am attracted to her. I know that is very wrong, but the thing is that she might have hundreds of friends like me, but she is the only girl who has ever been so close to me, you know emotionally.

I have been trying to not have these feelings, but the foul thing that my brain is, doesn’t let me forget. I try to reason it out again and again and again, yet whenever I think about her, only 1 thing comes to my mind….. I really don’t know what to do to end it all. I surely know that if I shared this with her, our friendship will be effectively ruined.

I have been confused for over a week, about what should I do. I have grown irritable and lazy, don’t talk to anyone properly, except on the internet where I try to come across as happy all the time, through what I write. I don’t know who to consult, cuz, well, I would come off as a horrible person to them, and its just embarrasing enough that I am even having these thoughts. I thoroughly feel ashamed of myself for going the Harry way, that gals and guys can never be friends unless involved with other already. So, I have turned to you guys for help…..suggestions are open, please comment, any help is appreciated.

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Author: Jas A.

I think my picture describes me the best, a 21 yr old loner. Computer is my life and I used to be very good in studies, I mean very good, but I've been declining since 9th grade and lost interest. I have one passion in life "Movies", but I can't pursue direction cuz its not stable, and I love money, so I've decided to become a software engineer. Well, that's me, what about you?

13 thoughts on “I’m confused… real confused”

  1. I don’t see anything wrong is having these thoughts. You’ve fallen in love and what’s wrong with that! Maybe she may not reciprocate and you might get hurt, that’s all.

  2. Well, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you having feelings for her. Maybe you were looking for your last crush in her initially but now you’re not. Now you like this girl for what she is, correct?

    She might have 200 friends on her profile but you never know dude, you might just be her closest friend. I’ve seen this happen quite a few times where a guy doesn’t approach a girl thinking that she’s so pretty and there’s no chance she’ll be single and she’ll feel for me the way I do for her. But she might, she might just like you as much as you like her. It sounds too Hindi movie-ish but at the end of the day, it’s the truth and the sooner you face it, the better. If you think that your feelings for her are genuine, I think you must try to tell her that. Maybe not pounce on her but explain it to her slowly. And who knows, she might just be feeling the same way for you. Even if she doesn’t, I’m sure she’ll understand and nothing would happen to your friendship. No guarantees of course but it’s better than living like this, don’t you think?

  3. Perx, there is absolutely nothing wrong in the fact that you like her. It doesn’t make you a horrible person or a bad human being at all…how can you be that when you can show affection and understanding towards someone you didn’t even meet yet (I think). And from what I know of you, you seem like a very sweet and understanding guy…don’t put yourself down.

    On one side, I agree with Ish. Just because you think that she doesn’t like you doesn’t mean she doesn’t. Girls are messed up creatures and often, they think they aren’t being subtle but guys don’t get the hint. For all you know, she could like you a lot and might be waiting for a sign or word from you that you consider her to be something more than a friend.

    On the other hand, you should be really careful what you’re doing with this. If you really like A and want to be with her, then honestly tell her what you feel. Even if she doesn’t like you in the same way, I seriously doubt that she would hurt you. I don’t mean to sound negative though…I’ve seen friendships destroyed by the feelings of one side, I’ve even felt it myself. But I’ve also seen lots of friendships get stronger and better because of mutual attraction.

    In the end yaar, you should do what your heart tells you to. Listen to your brain too though. Basically the question is, are the gains from a romantic relationship enough to outweigh the possible loss of a good friendship?

    It’s a tough question and I’m so sorry you’re going through this…it really sucks. But I think you have to put your mind at rest…don’t leave things the way they are. Good luck Jaspreet.

  4. @Nita
    I know, but I’m just worried you know, I mean what does it go to show? that i would keep falling for every girl i become friends with?

    @Ish
    Yeah, I think u r absolutely right…….. I am gonna take things extremely slow now…. thanx for the gud advice…

    @tigger
    Thanx dudette, really…
    I think u r right, and acc to me, its so not worth gaining a relationship if i lost that friendship… so I think I know what to do now… take things snail level slow….. i know she isn’t in any relationship right now, and doesn’t plan to be… so let’s see…..

  5. a lot depends on how she feels for u.
    If she talks to you the same way she talks to other 200 persons then you might back off. Contol yourself …
    be as a freind .I know thats dificult but then see her online less … i am sure the feeling u have for her would get drained in no time..
    on the other hand if she too feels the same way then whats the big deal..be straight forward .
    girls generally like guys with an open minded approach..

    but beware understanding girls is the hardest thing in the universe..they may seem something when they are something else.. πŸ˜›

    dont take this far enough from where u cant return..so move slowly.. πŸ˜‰

  6. Okay Kid. NEVER MAKE EMOTIONAL FRIENDSHIPS THROUGH THE INTERNET.

    Never.

    Thats seriously something I can warn you against with my experience. You may actually believe you’re going the right way. But believe me, its NOT RIGHT.

  7. @arvind
    yeah, but the thing is i can’t be sure whether she has a different attitude towards me or not, i mean i think she does, but i’m not so sure….. so i am gonna hold off my horses, at least for now.

    @goofy
    ok, i see ur suggestion, but may i ask why? if u could share ur experience…… plz

  8. Hey Perx: I agree with Goofy. It’s kinda dangerous to have emotional relations with people through the internet, specially the feelings that you have developed. You can never really authenticate your feelings unless you have met the girl in person. If you already know her in person then it’s a different thing. As you said, we tend to build up a different kind of persona on the internet which can be totally opposite from what we are in real life. And it does not make you a bad person for having all these feelings and thoughts, it’s only natural. Relax!

  9. btw, falling for every second girl is quite a healthy sign! πŸ™‚ It means that you aren’t deeply in love with the present one! πŸ™‚
    So if you really are, then you won’t fall for anyone else!! Well, thats what I think anyway!

  10. @Maddie
    Well, no, i don’t know her in person.. yeah, i guess u r right, we do have diff personalities online, or our true personalities online…

    @Nita
    Hahaha… lolz
    yeah, u r absolutely right, but i am not falling for every other girl, i just said that it goes to show that any girl i come close to, i’ll fall for her…
    Well, then i’ll see if i fall for anyone else, that ought to confirm it… πŸ˜‰

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