Hello again!

Hey you guys! I hope you haven’t forgotten me. Let me introduce myself again. It’s Perx, with my wierd little alias. I know I don’t post regularly, but I’ll try to be from now on. Ok, so i’ve got two tags and some news about Kota.

Well, as everyone knows that the conditions in Rajasthan, especially near Kota, aren’t pleasant. Terrorism is on the rise. Although there hasn’t been much violence in the city, you might find a case or two. Infact a boy was killed, in our street with a knife, but it was a late night incident and only few people know, even I got to know from somewhere else, and am not sure even if it’s true. There is some panga about the Gurjars. And the thing is that these guys have broken the rail tracks. So no courier or passengers can come in or go out. My new Sony Ericsson K950i is waiting to be sent in my old city. The mobile that I previouly had, a chines one, has totally stopped working, and I use Nokia 1200 until my parents can come to Kota with my phone. I think that they should just cancel reservation for all, no partiality would happen that way. But that’s a whole another topic.

The big news is that I’ve shifted to a new PG. Vipul is still in the older room. The place was good, but the only thing was I didn’t like the landlord and vice versa. The place where I now live, belongs to a retired couple, whose kids have jobs abroad. Actually my mom met the lady on the train, when my parents were going back. The fountain that she is, my mom was crying, and this lady also started crying. I guess, that developed a strange kind of bond between them. Anyway, the room is nice, but I feel a little lonely here. I mean I was living for a month and a half, being constantly surrounded by people, and suddenly, I am alone. I guess it will take some time getting used to being alone AGAIN.

The Bansal review test went very bad. I am in R8 right now and obviously, wanna go up. In subjective, I thought I’d get 15/20 in Maths, 40/50 in Chem and 40/50 in Physics. But guess what, I just got 12.5/50 in Maths, 19/50 in Physics and 17/50 in Chem. I am like totally depressed. But, I am hoping for good marks in objective test, atleast 75/150. I wanna atleast stay in R and not go into S. So, I’ve decided to work hard from now. Just today, I was thinking that the last month was like a dream, you know, like while watching “FRIENDS”, you think that one day, you would like to live like this too. And now is when the real struggle begins. Let’s see how it goes.

UPDATE: As I was writing this, the results got announced. I got 78 in objective and got Q6 which is a much higher batch. Now I’m happy. And BTW Vipul got P5, he was in Q2 earlier.

8 Things Me

I got the first tag from Sneezy Melon of “The Goofy Express“. I have to tell 8 random facts about me. I think it could take me a day to think those…..

1) I am Sikh. Yes, if you didn’t know, I am a Sikh. As much as I don’t want hair as long as a girl has, the Indian society is narrow minded. My parents won’t say no, if I insisted on getting my hair cut, but as long as I am dependent on them, I don’t want them to face embarrassment, so I’ll do that when I get independent. See, I don’t think you need long hair to be a Sikh. Just by going to the Gurudwara, or wearing a turban, keeping a beard, putting money in the golak and bending in front of the Guru Granth Sahib, you can’t be a real Sikh. I have not been to a Gurudwara in 2 years, I believe God is everywhere. I don’t put money in the golak, because that does not go to poor, but to the pockets of managers. I’d rather feed the poor. I don’t read the jabji sahib, cuz I think that God doesn’t need a particular language to be prayed in. I think that the one who respects the Holy book and practices the deeds given is more of a sikh than the one doing all the other things I said above. Sorry, I guess this topic needs a post of its own. Moving on…….

2) I was the Head boy of my school, the worst there ever was. I didn’t even wanna be the head boy in the first place. I didn’t think I deserved it, I even told my class teacher to pass on the title to that boy, but she said that the decision had been made. There decision turned out to be wrong for them, according to me…….

3) I have a weird habit of connecting myself with every great personality. I try to find similarities between us and then think that maybe I’m their re-incarnation. So far, I have considered myself to be a re-incarnation of Bhagat Singh, Einstein, Shakespeare, Gandhi, Walt Disney, Mozart, and many more….

4) I don’t like dogs, cats, even pups, horses or any other kind of animal or insect. You don’t know what’s going on in their heads, and they might hurt you at any time. So I hate them and am afraid of them.

5) I don’t like to fight. I mean I have fought with my sister many times, but my views have changed now. I think fights and wars are a problem in themself and not a solution to any problem, so I believe in forgiving and forgetting. But, mind you I’m afraid of getting beaten either.

6) I hate myself. Yes, I hate the way I look, the way I think, the way I talk. I wish I could change everything like through a computer program or something, like photoshop, where they even got previews.

7) I daydream, and that’s all I do. I think and make plans about the future and forget to study in the procedure. Whenever, I see something, like on TV, about a family or something, I start thinking about what I would do differently if it were my decision……I think u get the point. BTW, my biggest dream is being immortal.

Tag No. 2 (As stolen from Ish)

i am: ugly.
i think: constantly, about too many things at a time.
i know: that I’ll succeed if I try hard.
i want: to talk to my crush once, to know what it was that attracted me to her.
i have: dual personalities.
i wish: I could be a movie director.
i hate: studying.
i miss: my friends from my city.
i fear: death and ghosts.
i feel: confused, about life.
i hear: numbness, the sound of loneliness.
i smell: some socks which are unwashed.
i crave: for love, real pure love.
i search: my soul, my heart, trying to unravel it’s secrets.
i wonder: if I’ll ever be at peace.
i regret: having opted for non medical.
i love: watching movies.
i ache: for all the people who are doing what they donโ€™t want to do.
i care: for my family, friends and some other people.
i always: look for the deeper meaning.
i am not: religious at all. I believe in Guru Nanak, Krishna, and Hanuman equally.
i believe: that I’ll go crazy one day.
i dance: to the tunes of fate.
i sing: along with listening to songs. People tend to spread away, when I start listening to songs.

I tag anyone who would like to do these tags.

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Author: Jas A.

I think my picture describes me the best, a 21 yr old loner. Computer is my life and I used to be very good in studies, I mean very good, but I've been declining since 9th grade and lost interest. I have one passion in life "Movies", but I can't pursue direction cuz its not stable, and I love money, so I've decided to become a software engineer. Well, that's me, what about you?

10 thoughts on “Hello again!”

  1. Congratulations for getting into the new batch. You’ve started improving and ultimately you’ll go much higher, I’m sure. PG must feel lonely though. But think of it this way, you get privacy and time with your own self. Daydream some more, it’s fun.

    I know what you mean about being a Sikh. I have the exact same feelings. Not much you can do about it though, it’s just how the society is. You can get them hair cut when you’re on your own and then not force your children to keep them. That’s how the society will change. Know what I mean?

    Quit thinking that you’re ugly. Will do you a world of good, trust me. You don’t know if you’re ugly or not. And moreover, it’s not all about looks all the time. Sounds terribly cliched but that’s true. Develop a personality, looks can be changed once you’re on your own.

    And don’t regret having taking non-medical. If your heart doesn’t lie in it, don’t do it. But if you’ve decided to do it, then don’t regret it alright? Don’t ever regret anything in life. Some decisions will be good, some bad, but I don’t believe in regretting the decision I had taken. It’s my decision and I have to stand by what I did even if it didn’t exactly turn out well.

  2. @Ish
    yeah, i think i do. I mean that is basically my plan. Ok, it’s not BT looks all the time, but it is most of the time…..
    I don’t know man, I don’t like studying so much maths and chem just cuz I wanna be a sofware engineer, seems unfair

  3. First thing first, go and watch jab we met and say the dialogue – Main apna favourite hoon, a 100 times every day.
    Seriously, how can someone not like himself?? You can’t be so pessimistic about yourself, it only brings down the morals and the urge to fight and to be something. Please, don’t even think on these lines. And physical beauty is overrated. Believe me.

    And its great that you have moved up the batch.
    You believe in Ghosts? Seen one?

  4. @Amit
    dude, it was kareena, easy for her to say………….
    I know, i keep giving these optimistic advices too, but dude, its really easy to say, and hard to follow

    Thanx…….
    Nah, I haven’t seen any ghosts, but have been scared to death by all my cousins, u know i was the smallest kid in the house, and everyone’s fav. target

  5. Wow, I guess the whole world is going insane. You won’t believe the crap that’s happening in Joburg as well, where I live. Stay safe Perx ๐Ÿ™‚

    I don’t know whether to congratulate you on the new place or not. It sucks being alone, especially when you’ve been surrounded by people, but it’ll give you a chance to update more, lol. And you get rid of your crap landlord, so yay!

    Sorry about your marks but congrats for doing well in Objectives…I’m assuming the higher you are in the alphabet, the better the class is?

    Lol, those tag things are fun, wish I could do them but since my blog isn’t a personal one…:-(

    I learned lots of new things about you…but hey, c’mon. You hate yourself? That’s a terrible thing to say…If people like you and your friends and family love you, why would you even think like that? Everyone has a few things that they dislike about themselves, but in that case, try to change those things and like yourself for being strong enough to do that…I don’t know how much sense I’m making and I don’t want to tell you to look at people less fortunate than you, because that’s one of the most annoying advices ever, lol. But hey, you’re moving up in class, you’re getting work done…chin up Perx…;-( PLease don’t be sad…

    Hey, I did the second tag when I was filling out a job application thingy, lol, it was fun, but my answers weren’t as honest as yours.

    I believe in ghosts too (but I’m not frightened of them, lol, I still have to watch a horror movie that will scare me)…I don’t believe that ghosts are leftover souls or spirits or whatever of people who’ve died, I believe that they are entities within themselves and like humans, can be good or bad. I also believe that ghosts don’t hang out where there are people, despite the crazy number of ghosts that seem to live in England, lol.

    Sing away dude, or make movies and post them on youtube…you already have a fan following, lol, and it might just cheer you up!

  6. @Tigger
    Yeah, I know I’ll be regular on my blog again.
    Hey, you could start a personal blog too if you want….
    Yeah, I guess I should not hate myself, but, I don’t know, thats just the way I am, superficial I guess.
    Hey, I’m not sad…… I am just a little disheartened I guess, but hey, its me, my moods change by the second
    Really, you did that tag in an application? what did the interviewer say?
    lol, I know, just the thought of ghosts is really scary…..
    Thanx for all the encouragement by the way…..

  7. First thing, I don’t like the answer you gave to Amit. It’s not because she’s Kareena. Look into her character in Jab We Met, and it will help, trust me. Love yourself, and your confidence rises. Till the time you keep thinking on the lines that you’re not good, you’re ugly, there’ll be no self confidence and life will continue to be miserable. It’s inside you to change that. Believe in yourself. Fucking tell yourself that you’re good. You know me don’t you? I’m not the most handsome person on the earth. I’m awfully short. But I love myself. I love what I am and I see a lot of things that I can be. Look at yourself like that. Self deprecation never works. Confidence is the shit, always remember that in life. I know that it’s easier for me to say and difficult to you to do but you have to do it dude. I can only say, I can’t do it for you. It might be difficult, but it’s worth it.

    Sure it is about looks most of the times but have you noticed that the hottest chicks don’t always go with the handsome guys? The attitude too matters. Ultimately, you’ll be the one who will stand tall. Know your style, but clothes which can make you look as good as you can with the current style. And you’ve got the attitude I know. You’ll find somebody for yourself. I’ve never looked good, yet I’ve always had lots of friends because of the way my attitude goes. I was a failure with girls because I never tried. If I do, there’s nothing that could stop me. And just like that, there’s nothing that can stop you, except yourself that is.

    And your case about maths and chemistry is similar to me. But the thing is that I genuinely sucked at Maths and Physics right from the beginning. You might not like it, but if you think you can cope with it, go ahead. I’m doing a BCA now because I was always bad at Maths. I made my decision. You can make yours too. You’ve got to decide on that. At the end of the day though, hard fact is that you’ve got to go through the maths and chemistry if you really do wish to become a software engineer. But if at all there’s something else, or you feel that you can’t cope, stop it right now and go for the goal you think you have. It’s all the same, introspect..decide..decide and then go for it. And if you’re in doubt, give me a call okay? I’ll tell you my number if you wanna.

  8. @ish
    Firstly, I know all u guys are right. I should not hate the way I look…… but its difficult not to. I am trying though, to like myself the way I am…. and change the things that I don’t like abt myself, cuz I just hated my looks, cuz i know that i can look better.
    And dude, its not abt girls, I know that with girls, attitude and grooming is the thing that matters the most, but its just the way I feel about myself sitting in front of a mirror. But, I don’t let that affect me when I’m outside, I feel confident most of the times…….. because I know that I might not be that good, but I’m not that bad either.
    I think I can cope with them….. I am genuinely interested in Physics and a little bit in physical chemistry(which don’t have the chem formulas and bonds and stuff). I can even do maths, and thats why I think I am here, but it just seems a little unfair, thats all. I think I am going in the right direction.
    Thanx for offering ur number, if u want u could mail it to me…..at jaspreet.hd@gmail.com

  9. Lol, I could start a personal blog but I’d just spend the whole time complaining. and give me a chance to talk about myself and I’ll go on and on and on…I think I may have some narcissistic issues.

    If you’re going to be superficial, be superficial about others and not yourself…kidding, lol, rather don’t be superficial about anyone.

    Hope you’re feeling better now…chocolate helps, you know ๐Ÿ˜‰ Just don’t overdo it.

    The interviewer didn’t say much, the answers weren’t particularly honest or controversial, lol, so she just thought I was a normal girl.

    No problem, what are random internet friends for if not for encouragement, lol. Um, just noticed above in your email. Is your name Jaspreet?

  10. @tigger
    Yeah, THAT is what makes a personal blog famous……after all people read em to know abt u, so do start one of ur own
    Yeah, i’m feeling a hell lot better
    …….. and i thought, that u made a funny scene or something…
    yeah, my name’s jaspreet

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