The only worthwhile thing I have been doing these days is watching movies….I saw 21 and loved it, and saw some more movies not worth mentioning. I also went to see Jaane Tu… Ya Jaane Na, alone when my friends said they wouldn’t, and I’m glad I did, cuz it’s a very good movie.

Anyway, on with the post, do you remember I told you about A? Yeah, thats the girl I became friends with through orkut. Well, as it turns out, I am a horrible person and a bad human being, cuz, to simply put it across, I am attracted to her. I know that is very wrong, but the thing is that she might have hundreds of friends like me, but she is the only girl who has ever been so close to me, you know emotionally.

I have been trying to not have these feelings, but the foul thing that my brain is, doesn’t let me forget. I try to reason it out again and again and again, yet whenever I think about her, only 1 thing comes to my mind….. I really don’t know what to do to end it all. I surely know that if I shared this with her, our friendship will be effectively ruined.

I have been confused for over a week, about what should I do. I have grown irritable and lazy, don’t talk to anyone properly, except on the internet where I try to come across as happy all the time, through what I write. I don’t know who to consult, cuz, well, I would come off as a horrible person to them, and its just embarrasing enough that I am even having these thoughts. I thoroughly feel ashamed of myself for going the Harry way, that gals and guys can never be friends unless involved with other already. So, I have turned to you guys for help…..suggestions are open, please comment, any help is appreciated.

Well, Ashish, from the Geek World, has tagged me to do a music meme. I am really excited, I gotta say, you know a new legal job and stuff. Thanx Ashish and here goes the tag:

5 - You’re going on a long journey, what five albums MUST you take with you? Albums that you need to listen to regularly.

Hmm… top 5? They keep on changing every week, right now they are:

1. Meteora - Linkin Park

2 .Viva La Vida - Coldplay

3. Jaane Tu….. Ya Jaane Na

4. Curtain Call - Eminem

5. Hybrid Theory - Linkin Park

4 - What four albums/songs do you most associate with a
journey or travel experience? You know, the ones you listen to that
instantly transport you back to a place and time.

1. Enrique - Do you know what it feels like……

2. Dr. Zeus - Kangna [ Reminds me of all the friends I made at that animation coaching center, where they used to play this song all the time]

3. Dil, Dosti,etc. - Dum Laga [Strangely reminds me of the fun times we had in school]

4. Amrinder Gill - Ishq [Reminds me of my silent mornings I spent looking at her and saying nothing]

3 - Your three favourite songs of all time?

1. Linkin Park - Numb

2. Eminem - The Way I Am

3. Agnee - Shaam Tanha

2 - Two feel good songs, the ones that are guaranteed to lift the blues and put a smile on your face.

1. Tum Se Hi - Jab We Met

2. Kabhi Kabhi Aditi - Jaane Tu…. Ya Jaane Na [for right now]

1 - Absolute, overall, undoubtedly the best album of all time, in your opinion.

Hmm.. here’s a toughy, an all time best album? I am not sure I have heard enough of them to even comment. But right now, I’d say none. I mean I love many right now like Jannat, JTYJN, etc. whose all songs are good, but these undoubtedly not the best of all times, so I guess I am yet to hear it.

While Ish and Ashish quarrel over who is the meme king/emperor, I’ve decided to become the meme thief…. I’m gonna steel and do any tag I like (well, no one tags me, what am I supposed to do? Its kind of like being jobless, you gotta do something illegal to survive in this competitive world )

So, the 1st tag is from Tattletale, Vasudha’s blog.

1. What have you realised recently?
It’s not about blaming the education system right now, Its about making the most of it, even though it has flaws.

2. Have you given your first kiss away?
Nope…. still dry as a tundra.

3. If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 11 blog buddies you would take?
Ok, one guy and ten gals…….well u know why i would take the girls, but a guy cuz I need to talk to someone, while the girl talk is on

4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
Paris…. it is so romantic.

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
Hmmm…. so many dreams yaar, ok, how about being the next Steven Spielberg.

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
Well, you know rainbows occur when the water droplets refract the rays of the sun…. to make VIBGYOR out of the white light from the sun, so its not much about believing.

Oh my god, I’ve become a geek! I was afraid of that.

7. What are you afraid to lose the most now?
My internet connection … thats the only thing that helps me survive here.

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Produce a movie for myself… or publish a novel.

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Yeah, I think I would if am absolutely sure that I am indeed in love with her.

10.List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
Ok, as no one tagged me, i’d list 3 good points about me

a) I became patient, seriously, but after I watched Good Will Hunting, my parents had to suffer my wrath for 14 years b4 that.

b) When I love someone, I love them with all my heart and soul. I believe this will be my undoing.

c) I’m polite, err… ok, most of the time, I’m polite.

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
Honesty.

12. Which type of person do you hate the most?
I dislike people who would do anything to gain someone’s attention…… but I wouldn’t go as far as saying that I hate them.

13. What is the one thing you cannot live without?
Internet! Internet! INTERNET!

14. If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
It’s better they tell me. I am always ready to improve.

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Man, have I got to say it again and again? INTERNET!

16. Are you a shopaholic or not?
Nope…. I hate shopping, except for gadgets, u give me some lakhs and I’ll be back within an hour.

17. Find a word to describe the person who tagged you.
What the faraday man? Was this written by a preist? Why do you want me to feel the guilt?

18. If you have a chance. Which part of your character you would like to change?
I would want to lose my laziness, if I wasn’t lazy, I might not be more happy, but I’d definitely be more successfull.

19. Whats the last shocking thing you’ve seen or heard?
None… I am bored out of my wits here.

20. Would you rather have love but no money or money but no love?
Both, both, both…. accept my wish or I’ll tell mommy on you!

Ok, that was fun, for me atleast, the next tag is from Reema’s blog, “My Random Thoughts“, and hey if u r reading this Reema, welcome to wordpress!

1. Last movie you saw in a theater?
Jannat, it was a good movie, and the most important thing being, my views are somewhat like Arjun, you know those who don’t think happiness can be bought, don’t know where to shop…..

2. What book are you reading?
Not any right now, but was thinking about starting Macbeth or Hamlet.

3. Favorite board game?
Business or Monopoly to many. I like being the banker, the evil cheating banker

4. Favorite magazine?
Reader’s Digest or maybe PC mag, haven’t read many to comment.

5. Favorite smells?
The smell of a new car, you know when you haven’t taken the plastic off, I love that smell.

6. Favorite sounds?
Man, a favorite, there are so many, how can anyone choose? But, I do know that I hate the sound of silence… rest all are good.

7. Worst feeling in the world?
Feeling not wanted, that no one in the world cares if you were here or not.

8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?
Arey yaar, abhi to soya tha! Uthna hi padega kya? paanch minute aur so jaata hun….zzzzz

9. Favorite fast food place?
Subway!

10. Future child’s name?
Haven’t thought about it… but surely not those sikh names, man, I mean they just get repetitive.

11. Finish this statement. “If I had lot of money I’d….?
Sleep, read and watch movies all day, I hate working

12. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
No… I sleep with a pillow, you know stuffed with cotton.

13. Storms - cool or scary?
Scary, totally! I have seen too many storm deaths on Nat Geo to think they are cool.

14. Favorite drink?
Water.

15. Finish this statement, “If I had the time I would….”?
Watch all the good movies ever made. Seriously there are so many to watch, sometimes I think, how will I ever watch so many movies in just 1 lifetime!

16. Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
What is broccoli?

17. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?
Black only… I don’t like any other colours except blonde, which look good only on girls or Decaprio.

18. Name all the different cities/towns you’ve lived in?
Jalandhar and now Kota.

19. Favorite sports to watch?
None, whichever is on, be it cricket, tennis or basketball.

20. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you?
I sent this to myself! You got a problem, lets take it outside…

21. What’s under your bed?
Bags, empty bags, maybe some monsters too..

22. Would you like to be born as yourself again?
No, I wish to be born prettier than I am.

23. Morning person, or night owl?
Night owl…

24. Over easy, or sunny side up?
Over easy.

25. Favorite place to relax?
Bed, with my lappy.

26. Favorite pie?
Never had one…………

27. Favorite ice cream flavor?
I hate ice cream. Yuck!

28. Of all the people you tagged this to, who’s most likely to respond first?
I’m not tagging anyone! Do thiefs share their loot?

Ok, so now that we are over with the tags, something about me, I had a test on 29th June, for which I started studying on the 28th, it was Ok, lets see what the results are….till next time, peace out!

P.S. I know, I shouldn’t have trackbacked people whose tags I stole, but you know, I’m like the Zodiac, I take responsibility for my crime.

Hello Ish! Hey Tigger! I guess its just you two with me these days, huh? Thanks for sticking with me, while my posts get less consistent, less funny, more boring and more depressing.

But, I promise, you like this post or you don’t, you’ll have fun reading it. Ok, I’ve got two stories to tell you guys, one(A) is mine and the other(AIR 76) is someone elses. They’re both in 3rd person…..But first let me tell you what I’ve been upto these few days. Well, I watched Jannat, which I liked and watched Se7en, which I did not like, also saw MP3 which I liked as well. I also read the three mistakes, by Chetan Bhagat, was cool, but kind of weak as compared to FPS or call center. Also read the kite runner by Khaled Housini, which was totally awesum, couldn’t get the characters out of my head for a weak. And that thing about Yelda was so cool, I loved it. Also read The Alchemist and didn’t like it, it was so very boring, don’t know why everyone praises it so much……. Anway, back to the stories

Lets start with AIR 76

Anand, pretty much a normal guy. Hailing from Delhi, he had much more sense of style than others, was good looking, ok in studies, and good in sports. He joined Bansal Classes, not really because he wanted to be an engineer, but because that is the only thing his father had suggested and he didn’t know what else to do with his life, so he decided to go along with it. He came in a good batch, even after not having taken the entrance seriously. He found the life of Kota boring until one day, when the course of his entire life changed, when he saw her. He fell in love with a girl in his batch. He, somehow, got to know about the hostel where she lived, and bribed the gate keeper to deliver a package to her. But, unfortunate as it was, the package was found by the hostel matron. She opened it up and found a card and a bracelet. She took it to the girl involved and said that she was gonna take serious action. The girl said that she would tell Bansal sir herself about this. When the matron was gone, she read the letter. It had a beautiful poem and a message telling her about Anand’s identity. He had written that if her answer is yes, then she comes to the class wearing that bracelet, and he’ll understand, and if the answer is no, she could throw it all in the dustbin, no hard feelings.The girl gave the package to Bansal sir the next norning….

He called an assembly and announced in front of everyone what had happened. Anand packed his bags and left that evening only. When teachers asked about him, they got to know that he had left a letter for Bansal sir. Although the letter said that he had left cuz he couldn’t face bansal sir, but Anand knew that it was not the truth. Bansal sir even called him a couple of times, that it was not his mistake and he could come back, but he refused. He was just sad, that she could have thrown that away if she didn’t like him, why did she tell bansal sir?

He was depressed for a month. Not eating anything, not studying anything, wasting his entire time. But his father understood him, and he said that don’t make your love your weakness, make your love for that girl, your inspiration. He told him to work hard and if he was able to stand tall on his feet, his father would himself go to the girl’s house to ask for her hand for Anand.

So he worked hard, more than anyone, in private tutions, self study, he gave it all he had, and he got A.I.R. 76 in IIT-JEE examination. He went to Bansal classes that very day, enquired about the girl’s address, and went to her house. As he had got to know, she had captured a 2000 something rank. He asked her why she had done what she had, told her about his feelings, demanded an answer, but on getting nothing for an answer but sobs from her, he gave her a card and left. And here I am telling you this story, hearing it from my friend, who heard from Anand and that girl on their wedding day…………

A

He had changed. The winds of Kota had given him a cold, the thing he felt awkward when his friends did it, he was doing it himself. The disease was “watching girls”. Yes, he used to say to his friends, “What, have you never seen a girl before? are the an alien form, new to us that you have to speacially go on gedhis to see them.” But, now, he noticed every girl walking past him, like they were something on display.

But, he was not that far along. He was still a good kid, just looking for love. He was never attached to his parents or family, so tried to find love from friends, or perhaps a girl friend. Whatever it was, he decided that he would start practicing the Game(Pick ups). So he strated carrying out the tasks in The Rules of the Game, grasped every aspect of the game, and finally started as a rookie. He tried to practice online first. So he sent friend requests to a couple of girls on orkut. You know, a couple of good profiles he found in his friends’ friends list. Thats how he met A(name not to be disclosed, so just A).

They hit it off the first time they chatted, for like 5 hours… and not a dull moment I tell you. He was taking it slowly, you know, following the game, slowly getting past veils of the female mind….. They decided to chat everyday. And they do, almost everyday, and he slowly starts getting attached to her. He even number closes her. When she doesn’t come online for 3 days once, he calls her and they talk for like 20 minutes. Nothing special right, but it was turning into something. Slowly, chats became less frequent and calls went everyday. They talked from 11:30 in the night to 4:30, one night. It was the longest phone conversation he had ever had. By now, he had also seen her pictures, she was more cute than pretty. He slowly started getting more attached to her, started missing her during daytime, thinking about topics to talk about at night, thinking about her. But he felt wrong, he felt like it wasn’t fair to A, he was getting these feelings for her, when she considered him only as a friend. He wasn’t attracted to her earlier, why now? He kept thinking and thinking for 2 days and then it finally dawned on him, one day when he was walking towards his classes. He was trying to find that girl(his last crush) in A. He had never got to know that girl, not talk to her, and he was trying to find her image in A. It may not be considered a big deal, but he knew it was for him, and he broke down, he wanted to just scream, let out all the frustration, not only about this, but about all of it, everything he was trying to forget about while talking with A.

“I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn’t screw to save its species.

I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all those French beaches I’d never see.

I wanted to breathe smoke…… I felt like destroying something beautiful.”                   - Fight Club

These dialogues were ringing in his ears as he climbed stair after stair, and he finally decided, that he would get over with the previous chapter first. So he called a couple of buddies in his home town told them to find out her orkut profile. He doesn’t want anything to work out, no, its more his curiosity that is getting the better of him. He just wants to talk to her once, and he knows the chapter would be closed after that. He doesn’t want this to haunt his love life forever. He wants to find out what it was that appealed to him, that’s stopping him from moving on.

He’s still friends with A, a better friend than he was. They still chat, and still talk on the phone for hours, and he hopes they will continue to be good friends.

And he has changed, he is out of the narrow minded trance he had dived into. He does not “bird watch” anymore and is more than confident while approaching someone, whether a guy or a girl. He feels more bright, more positive while talking, not caring much about public opinion. I am not saying it is because of this story, it might be because of the whole experience, but he can say that coming to Kota proved to be a fruitful decision.

P.S. I hope you have watched fight club, if u haven’t, you definitely should, its one of the best movies out there.

]]> http://perx.wordpress.com/2008/06/24/a-and-air/feed/ Perx http://perx.wordpress.com/2008/06/06/am-i-being-unreasonable-or-what/ http://perx.wordpress.com/2008/06/06/am-i-being-unreasonable-or-what/#comments Fri, 06 Jun 2008 15:18:44 +0000 Perx http://perx.wordpress.com/?p=105

Yeah, so let me tell you a little bit about my life for the last month here in Kota…….

Well, as me and Vipul were room partners, obviously we talked a lot to each other. I think I would not be wrong to say that we know everything about each other. I even found out from him, that I knew less about my “friends” back home then I could have ever imagined. I felt sad, cuz it reflected on me as a friend, you know, that these people never entrusted me enough to tell me about themselves. So, anyway, I found out that he’s a nice guy, a little spoilt, u know, chasing girls and ghedian and all. But, he liked this one girl in his colony and the last day, the night of which our train was supposed to leave, he proposed(not a marriage proposal) to her and she said yes.

He told me all about his feelings, every thing he did and said in front of her, that helped him win her. We even tried the Game together for a few days.  I used to call her home, as she didn’t have a cell phone, and I could make a girl’s voice. I even supported and tried to console him at every moment for those 15 days he could not contact her. We were like Joey and Chandler for that one month…. really, we told each other everything.

The night that I shifted, Rohan (another friend of ours here) told me that he was feeling lonely and told me to call and of course I did. And now, I think he doesn’t really need me. He called me this morning, while I was in class, at like 9 to call her home, and ask her to call his cell. I called her home 3 times before the class and 2 times during the interval. She told me, during the last call, that some problem was occurring as her mom was enquiring that who was calling so many times.

I went to Vipul’s PG after class ended at 1, and he wasn’t there. I called his cell and he told me that he was at the classes, and wouldn’t be free till after 7:30. I was worried all day, I know I shouldn’t have been, but I was, and this is the only place I can write the truth, right? I was worried, that their relationship might be discovered because of me, or whether she had called him or not……..

So I call him, at 7:45 and his phone is busy, at 7:50, its busy, 8:15, he finally picks up. So, I try to ask him stuff about it all, and other things, and I feel like he doesn’t really wanna talk to me. He stopped inbetween, and I think didn’t wanna talk to me about it. So I just wanted to ask, is that all there is? I mean you could have called me and informed me that all is well, but you didn’t. You call me only when you need a favour, or a job done…. and when I call you, you don’t even talk to me properly, or don’t wanna talk. Is that all there is to friendship, selfishness? Am I being unreasonable, cuz I bet I am, but anyone who reads my blog knows that I’m emotional about friends. But, what do you guys think?

Hey you guys! I hope you haven’t forgotten me. Let me introduce myself again. It’s Perx, with my wierd little alias. I know I don’t post regularly, but I’ll try to be from now on. Ok, so i’ve got two tags and some news about Kota.

Well, as everyone knows that the conditions in Rajasthan, especially near Kota, aren’t pleasant. Terrorism is on the rise. Although there hasn’t been much violence in the city, you might find a case or two. Infact a boy was killed, in our street with a knife, but it was a late night incident and only few people know, even I got to know from somewhere else, and am not sure even if it’s true. There is some panga about the Gurjars. And the thing is that these guys have broken the rail tracks. So no courier or passengers can come in or go out. My new Sony Ericsson K950i is waiting to be sent in my old city. The mobile that I previouly had, a chines one, has totally stopped working, and I use Nokia 1200 until my parents can come to Kota with my phone. I think that they should just cancel reservation for all, no partiality would happen that way. But thats a whole another topic.

The big news is that I’ve shifted to a new PG. Vipul is still in the older room. The place was good, but the only thing was I didn’t like the landlord and vice versa. The place where I now live, belongs to a retired couple, whose kids have jobs abroad. Actually my mom met the lady on the train, when my parents were going back. The fountain that she is, my mom was crying, and this lady also started crying. I guess, that developed a strange kind of bond between them. Anyway, the room is nice, but I feel a little lonely here. I mean I was living for a month and a half, being constantly surrounded by people, and suddenly, I am alone. I guess it will take some time getting used to being alone AGAIN.

The Bansal review test went very bad. I am in R8 right now and obviously, wanna go up. In subjective, I thought I’d get 15/20 in Maths, 40/50 in Chem and 40/50 in Physics. But guess what, I just got 12.5/50 in Maths, 19/50 in Physics and 17/50 in Chem. I am like totally depressed. But, I am hoping for good marks in objective test, atleast 75/150. I wanna atleast stay in R and not go into S. So, I’ve decided to work hard from now. Just today, I was thinking that the last month was like a dream, you know, like while watching “FRIENDS”, you think that one day, you would like to live like this too. And now is when the real struggle begins. Let’s see how it goes.

UPDATE: As I was writing this, the results got announced. I got 78 in objective and got Q6 which is a much higher batch. Now I’m happy. And BTW Vipul got P5, he was in Q2 earlier.

8 Things Me

I got the first tag from Sneezy Melon of “The Goofy Express“. I have to tell 8 random facts about me. I think it could take me a day to think those…..

1) I am Sikh. Yes, if you didn’t know, I am a Sikh. As much as I don’t want hair as long as a girl has, the Indian society is narrow minded. My parents won’t say no, if I insisted on getting my hair cut, but as long as I am dependent on them, I don’t want them to face embarrassment, so I’ll do that when I get independent. See, I don’t think you need long hair to be a Sikh. Just by going to the Gurudwara, or wearing a turban, keeping a beard, putting money in the golak and bending in front of the Guru Granth Sahib, you can’t be a real Sikh. I have not been to a Gurudwara in 2 years, I believe God is everywhere. I don’t put money in the golak, because that does not go to poor, but to the pockets of managers. I’d rather feed the poor. I don’t read the jabji sahib, cuz I think that God doesn’t need a particular language to be prayed in. I think that the one who respects the Holy book and practices the deeds given is more of a sikh than the one doing all the other things I said above. Sorry, I guess this topic needs a post of its own. Moving on…….

2) I was the Head boy of my school, the worst there ever was. I didn’t even wanna be the head boy in the first place. I didn’t think I deserved it, I even told my class teacher to pass on the title to that boy, but she said that the decision had been made. There decision turned out to be wrong for them, according to me…….

3) I have a weird habit of connecting myself with every great personality. I try to find similarities between us and then think that maybe I’m their re-incarnation. So far, I have considered myself to be a re-incarnation of Bhagat Singh, Einstein, Shakespeare, Gandhi, Walt Disney, Mozart, and many more….

4) I don’t like dogs, cats, even pups, horses or any other kind of animal or insect. You don’t know what’s going on in their heads, and they might hurt you at any time. So I hate them and am afraid of them.

5) I don’t like to fight. I mean I have fought with my sister many times, but my views have changed now. I think fights and wars are a problem in themself and not a solution to any problem, so I believe in forgiving and forgetting. But, mind you I’m afraid of getting beaten either.

6) I hate myself. Yes, I hate the way I look, the way I think, the way I talk. I wish I could change everything like through a computer program or something, like photoshop, where they even got previews.

7) I daydream, and that’s all I do. I think and make plans about the future and forget to study in the procedure. Whenever, I see something, like on TV, about a family or something, I start thinking about what I would do differently if it were my decision……I think u get the point. BTW, my biggest dream is being immortal.

Tag No. 2 (As stolen from Ish)

i am: ugly.
i think: constantly, about too many things at a time.
i know: that I’ll succeed if I try hard.
i want: to talk to my crush once, to know what it was that attracted me to her.
i have: dual personalities.
i wish: I could be a movie director.
i hate: studying.
i miss: my friends from my city.
i fear: death and ghosts.
i feel: confused, about life.
i hear: numbness, the sound of loneliness.
i smell: some socks which are unwashed.
i crave: for love, real pure love.
i search: my soul, my heart, trying to unravel it’s secrets.
i wonder: if I’ll ever be at peace.
i regret: having opted for non medical.
i love: watching movies.
i ache: for all the people who are doing what they don’t want to do.
i care: for my family, friends and some other people.
i always: look for the deeper meaning.
i am not: religious at all. I believe in Guru Nanak, Krishna, and Hanuman equally.
i believe: that I’ll go crazy one day.
i dance: to the tunes of fate.
i sing: along with listening to songs. People tend to spread away, when I start listening to songs.

I tag anyone who would like to do these tags.

I have been watching all the roadies episodes, but just didn’t have the time to make a post. Anyway, here it goes.

We had left where Shambhavi goes. After that I think was the episode with the kick boxing. Yeah it was pretty cool, especially when Nihal gets all beaten up. I don’t remember much about the tasks but I remember that after that Varun was voted out, then Vibhor. And boy, how can I forget the Prabhjot voteout. I mean was Ankita mad or something. If she had voted out Ashutosh or Sonel, the game would have been much much different. But she got out too, due to her dumbness, and the final 3 are Nihal, Ashutosh, and Sonel. But, its amazing that these people were some worst task performers of the show, and they reached the end only because of the politics they played. I guess its all about politics in India.

As the news has already leaked, Ashutosh is gonna win this season, and thats not good, at least according to ethics. I mean that guy wasn’t even serious. Let’s see what the final episode unfolds before us. The wait is only until 17th May, 2008.

Yeah, I have been looking for an inspiration ever since I have come to Kota. I had decided upon IIT for one simple reason. I had decided that as IITians get the highest paid jobs, I’d work for like 5 years, and then go to LA to join a film institute to become a director, as I wanted to join Hollywood and get in touch with HD. But, as that one-itis was dropped, I wasn’t sure what to do, and decided to go for IIT only.

But, I have been suffering ever since I have come here. I don’t want to study hard, I want to enjoy life. And today IITians have to do MBA to get good jobs, and I think that the salary would have been good enough even if I did an MBA after doing CA or something. I don’t have anything that can keep me going, something that can inspire me to study, no real motive, nothing, cuz the standard of IIT has really dropped in my eyes after getting to know how stuff works there.

Also, I have been really disappointed with Bansal Classes. I thought that people came here to gain knowledge, not just learn the same old stuff, but boy, was I wrong. Their only aim is IIT, which might work for most people, but doesn’t for me. I have a thirst for knowledge, not for cramming. And even the IITs are only about the GPA.

So due to lack of inspiration, my mind has been looking around. Strangely, my oneitis have returned, yes both of them. I notice every girl walking past me, which I never did before. Maybe I’m spoiling myself, but I understand that my mind is looking for inspiration. I don’t know what to do. I think that if I don’t get a good batch after the first test, maybe I’ll go back. I mean what is the use of living without facilities, when you don’t even want to do what you have come to do.

I don’t know if it’s wrong or right, I’m totally confused, more than I ever was.

P.S. I forgot to tell you all, It was my 16th birthday on 18th April.

I apologize for the fact that I haven’t written a post in the last twenty days. I have been planning to write a day by day analysis of my life in Kota, for a week, and haven’t been able to do it, so I gave the plan up today, and I’ll just write it generally, but it’s gonna be a long post. BTW thanks to the people who inquired why I hadn’t posted including Ish and tigger.

My journey began on the night of 16th April. I had a lot of work to do that day and I was backing up my Desktop data till the moment my father was shouting for me to come down, as we had to leave for the railway station. I wasn’t very sad, but I knew I was gonna miss my friends a lot. So we reached the station, caught our train, and I embarked on a new journey, leaving behind a closed chapter of my book. But, was it really closed so soon? I would live in Jalandhar ever again like I used to…. but how could it end in just fifteen years…. so many plots of the chapter were still undeveloped, or not finished. But, I had to move on.

My parents were coming with me and Vipul(Binny) and his parents were there with us too. It was so exiting… starting something new… you know that rush of getting into a new life routine. But, I sure didn’t know then, that it would turn out to be so difficult. The next morning I spent talking to Vipul and getting to know him better…. we had not been very good friends in school, more like acquaintances or someone you hear about from your friends. Last evening, Sarvesh had called me to tell me that Vipul “ki setting ho gayi hai.” I asked him about it and surprisingly he told me all about it. I also spilled my beans about the oneitises. Well, they didn’t really matter to me much then.

When we reached in Kota, it was hell hot. My father’s friend’s brother, was there to receive us. My father wanted to book the rooms in advance, but the man was like, “It would be done, we would get you whatever hotel you would like” on the telephone. But I had some idea, that many people would be there, and we won’t get a place easily. We hotel hunted all afternoon and after many no availabilities, had to stay in a 3rd grade hotel. It wasn’t so bad, but bad according to our standards, or for that matter according to standard of many people. The rooms weren’t clean, were small, the walls were dirty, the bathroom wasn’t so clean, but we had to adjust.

After hotel hunting, came PG hunting. It was hard and frustrating, as there were many institutes in Kota, with no arrangement of Hostels by the institutes due to which the demand of good PGs was high. My mother threatened me that if we didn’t find a good enough PG, they would take me back with them. Vipul’s dad’s some relative showed us some rooms in Indravihar, but he also said that it was pretty late, most good rooms were already booked. Wherever we went, either the rooms were already booked, or only one was available or the rooms weren’t good, or they had common bathroom or the lavatory seat was Indian style. Me and Vipul don’t know how to operate that way…. call us spoilt, but we have never used or been taught to use Indian style lavatories. Anyway, so it was really difficult. At last we had to settle for a single room, with a double bed and two almirahs. The landlord’s were the relative’s brother, who they didn’t talk to anymore…. so we did the deal ourselves. We had dinner at the relative’s place. We also saw a tennis racket type thingy which has current in the net and is used to kill mosquitoes, for which Kota is pretty famous. We bought one for our room the next day. Anyway, the relatives were pretty nice people, and I mixed up with them quite easily… making jokes and all. They told us that students were easily beaten up here by local boys and police didn’t do anything. So Vipul was advised to keep his head down, as he was quite an influential dude, where he lived, you know what I mean. We returned to the hotel and that was the last time we saw them. By the way, maybe I shouldn’t say this, but Vipul’s dad is like the biggest Kiss-ass I’ve ever seen. He has a wierd style of saying, “Acha acha achachachach” really fast and is a big ass kisser, praising every word by saying, “Kya baat hai”, or “Maza aa gaya.”

Next day in the morning, was my introductory class. We were getting late, and we took breakfast(a bread pakora) sitting in the auto-rickshaw. There was a long lecture by Mr. V.K. Bansal, but it was good. I mean it gave you the feel for the first time that you are here, in Kota, to study in Bansal classes. But it was a 3 hour long class, and I hadn’t brought a water bottle with me. Whenever Bansal drank water, mann karta tha, chaper maar ke paani cheen lun. At the end of the class, they told us about our batches. Mine was R8. The batches are from P1 to S10. So, I was pretty far behind, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt. But, I drank the pain as a bottle of dew and went on the shopping spree waiting for us. It was pretty easy, but it was really very hot, which made it tiresome. We also purchased bicycles, as it is the mode of transportation used by most students here. It was a weird feeling to drive a bicycle after like 4 years, and I also remembered how I used to fall every time I took out my bicycle. While I was in the class, our mothers set up our room. But the room is very small, and one of my bags, containing my books, novels and dvds is still unpacked. Vipul’s class was in the evening and he got Q2. Saala, I am smarter than him….. but it doesn’t matter. The batches will be reshuffled after the first test on May 25th. So that night I washed my hair, so that the “juda” done by my mom would last another week. Truly, that was the only thing I was dependent on my mother for, anatomically, at this late age. That day, I also got to know that Vipul ate a lot. The man ate two bread pakodas at 9, then 2 samosas and sprite at 11:30 and 5 chapatis in lunch at 1:30. I mean, I juat eat two chapatis a meal and he looks thinner than me (although he’s not). The next day, early morning, our parents went back and we had two free days before classes began.

The next two days went by pretty quickly. We watched movies on the laptop (who’s volume capabilities sucks), talked to each other and got to know each other better. We are much closer friends now. We also got to know the dude living in the room right by our room, who’s from Ludhiana. He seems to have been pretty spoilt in Ludhiana (girls and fights wise). He is also in Bansal in S5 batch. But, he’s a good kid…. and is sometimes overconfident about his success which he veils as positive thinking. Also, he’s crazy about Amway, as his father does network marketing for Amway and he uses all the supplements and other products made by them. He is also sometimes a little irritating. We also met 3 other guys from Gwalior. One, who doesn’t talk much with us, but is supposed to be pretty intelligent. The other is a total Joker, I mean you just sit with him for a few minutes and you would be laughing your guts out. Their mothers still stay with them and would be leaving in May end. The last one is a IT dude, I mean he’s into computers so we have a good tuning. But, none of these guys watch much movies, and I am a movie buff, so I can’t talk much about movies around them. We now know much about them and we know much about them. Its surprising that we have become good friends in so few days. We also have gotten into the habit of mimicry of the landlord and his family. Me and Vipul also imitate our old teacher and the new science ones. Its really funny.

No one like the landlord our of all of us. He is a middle aged man who smokes a lot, and once when he was sitting in the Verandah, he told Vipul to pick up the stool like “Kamod chakk liya”. We now call him Kamod wale uncle. He is not a nice man btw, and got rude with me once for no apparent reason. I try to avoid him and his family as much as possible.

We eat food at a mess called Annapurna, and the food isn’t so bad, but it isn’t good either. I have decreased my food intake has decreased because I don’t like the food here. And my jeans are starting to become loose, which I consider good news. The most surprising part about the city is that, despite being a major industrial city, It doesn’t have any McDs, Pizza Hut, Dominoes or even a Cafe Coffee day. All the fast food you get commonly is samasos, kachoris and patties, which they fill up with sauces and namkeen like a gol gappa. There a couple of restaurants nearby which have ok-ok fast food. We just had some last night as the mess was closed.

We have been searching for a new PG for 2 or 3 days, which has 2 rooms available and all the facilities we need. We have searched all houses with a board of “room for students” on it, but didn’t find anything nice. We did find an apartment and and a hostel, but everyone has been suggesting against staying in a hostel, so I guess that’s out. But, everything was almost final about the apartment, infact we were gonna give the advance this evening, but Vipul feels like this place is better. And to tell you the truth, I think so too, as at the flat, we will have to take care of many things ourselves, and there will be just the two of us there. So we have decided to stay here only for now.

The classes are OK, but I kind of feel that I could have done studying like this at home also. The thing is that they haven’t put much pressure on us yet, as the second installment of the fees. But still, the 6 or even 3 of us, when study together, spend most of the time joking around. And I haven’t studied in two days. The thing is ki padhne ka mann hi nahi karta yaar……… and the room is a mess because of all the stuff accumulated, which is also a big turn off. We have our first test on 25th May, which is 6 hours long, and after that the batches will be re-shuffled. And I have totally decided that if I don’t get in the first few batches, I’m going back…. it seems like the sensible thing to do….cuz our senior(who is a genius btw) told us that good teachers are only alloted to the first few batches. So lets see where life takes me next.

Well, I finally watched the 12th April Roadies episode online, the way I’ll have to watch the rest of them. And man was that an episode full of shocks or what? The arrival of Simran and Varun was surely a surprise. The ladyboy thing was really cool, but man….the guys must be really embarrassed, of getting their legs and especially their eyebrows waxed. Varun and Vibhor did well. Nihal was as cheap as he could be. Ashu ka to pata hi tha, Bollywood style dance. The Girls all looked very sexy and Shambhavi looked like an expert, of course which she is being whorish and an expert at seducing guys. Ok, that was a cheap shot, I’m not sorry though. The second task was also cool, and to my delight Prabhjot and Vibhor won the immunity.

But, the thing that made me give this post that title which proves that I was in disbelief was the attitude of Shambhavi and Prabhjot towards each other. They were talking normally during the show, which seemed ok, cuz they had to spend the rest of the journey together. But the real surprise came at the vote-out. They were sweet to each other, hugged each other, Prabhjot voted against Nihal, she defended her and stuff……….and when Shambhavi got voted out, Shambhavi was saying good stuff about Prabhjot and wanted to meet her after the game, and even said she’d miss her! Heck, she even left a note only for Prabhjot, which Prabhjot considered “SO SWEET OF HER” and also said she was gonna miss Shambhavi. I was completely baffled on seeing that, like what was happening there. I was more than shocked and quoting Ranvijay, ” Kabhi socha nahi tha, ki aisa din bhi dekhunga.”

But, I’m pretty sure they were just acting, really abusing each other and cringing on the inside. Atleast, that’s what I’m telling myself, to give a logical explanation of what I saw. This just goes to show what they can do to stay in the game…………………………………..